


the invincible friendship

by whatever_you_want



Series: Little Bird, Finding Home [3]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Caregiver!Phil, Gen, Little!Tony, M/M, More tags to be added, Non-Sexual Age Play, Other, Team Dynamics, Tony Stark Has Trust Issues, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, caregiver!Steve, classifications au, little!Clint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-18
Updated: 2020-12-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23723146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whatever_you_want/pseuds/whatever_you_want
Summary: Clint accidentally regresses and finds an unlikely friend.Steve finally finds a Little — though he’s not exactly little.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Phil Coulson
Series: Little Bird, Finding Home [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1326584
Comments: 57
Kudos: 289





	1. a surprise encounter

**Author's Note:**

> sorry for the long absence but quarantine has given me time to write so I figure that’s the one highlight of this insanity right? 
> 
> i hope you guys enjoy 
> 
> not beta’d all mistakes are my own

Clint wasn’t Little when he wandered down to the lab. But he wasn’t feeling very big either. Phil was in his office, working on something important with a deadline, Natasha was trying to thwart the assassination of a Govenor and Steve had gotten hurt stopping a kidnapping. It wasn’t normal for everyone to be so busy but Clint was trying hard not to get in the way. 

But, he was also feeling a little lonely.

He crept up to the sliding doors, just under the view of the normal camera he knew Tony had rigged to check for movement. He didn’t want to bother him after all. Tony’s back was to him, brightly colored sparks danced in the air like glitter. Clint’s mouth formed an ‘o’ entranced by the tiny flying particles until they stopped and Tony threw his soldering gun onto the work bench. 

In the distance Clint could see Bruce crouched down and looking at a beaker that was glowing bright green. Daddy always told him to stay out of the lab without permission, because it was dangerous. But...Daddy was busy anyway. Tony was always doing fun things! Just last week he’d taken something called Pym Particles from Shield and made his Lego house giant! 

Daddy had gotten angry because stealing was bad and he didn’t seem to believe that Tony had just been borrowing them. Clint straightened up to trigger the sensors that opened the door. As they swept open to welcome him, the heavy rock and roll made Clint wince and put his palms over his aids which gave a nasty feedback. 

Tony told Jarvis to turn it down. “Hey Barton, didn’t see you,” Tony leaned against the bench. “What’s up?”

“E’rybody’s busy,” Clint’s thumb pressed his bottom lip against his teeth and Tony’s brow furrowed as he realized he was dealing with Little Clint, or, Littler Clint than he expected. “Whatcha doin’?”

“Uh, just some minor upgrade stuff… What’s your, uh, Daddy doing?”

Clint meandered further in, spotting U and DUM-E moving around some small pieces of scrap metal. “He’s in his office and ‘m not ‘posta go in there.” Clint was supposed to find Daddy when he started to feel Little but it had come on so quickly he had forgotten that rule. 

“And Steve’s still recovering huh?” Tony rubbed the back of his neck looking distracted. 

“Steve’s gotta ‘cussing.” Clint nodded looking at Tony wide eyed. “Those are your ‘bots, right?”

“Yeah.” Tony sighed a bit. “Alright kid, let’s uh… Go upstairs, huh? We can play while we wait for your Daddy to come find you.”

Clint’s eyes lit up in excitement. “Farm set?”

“Well, sure. Jarvis, have a farm set delivered.” 

“Expected delivery in ten minutes, sir.” The AI replied pleasantly.

Clint frowned in confusion. “I gotta farmset,” he bounced a bit on his toes. “With cows, an’ chickens an’ a farmer!”

“I bet you do, kid. But let’s not bug Coulson trying to find it.” Tony shucked off his gloves and whistled, drawing the robots’ attention. “Put this stuff away when you’re done, alright?”

They beeped in confirmation before swiveling back to the task of moving scrap metal. Clint hadn't ever played with Tony before and he was a little bit scared but the pool had been so fun… 

“Where are we gonna play?” Clint inquired as he trailed behind Tony.

The man washed his hands under the tap and glanced over at him. “Uh, on the communal floor. My floor’s a bit of a hazard at the moment.”

Clint wasn’t sure what a ‘hazard’ was but he bobbed his head like he did. Tony finished his tidying, glancing at the soundproof glass wall separating his lab from Bruce’s before he focused back on the Little. He was in over his head, more than a bit uncomfortable, but determined to prove to his team — and Clint — that he was fine with this. Because he was just...well...kids were never his forte. 

Sure meeting an excited kid during a meet and greet was fine, the occasional Little came with the territory but it’d never been so...personal. Tony was nervous and he hated it. 

“Well,” Tony clapped just hands together once he realized that Bruce was far too absorbed in his work and wasn’t going to intervene. “Let’s head out, shall we?”

Clint nodded his head and held out his hand. Tony drew back a little, too subtle for a Little to notice, and his pulse quickened. Physical contact was okay, he reminded himself. They weren’t strangers after all. Clint’s hand was about the same size as his own and warm. 

“Okay, let’s go.”

[oOo oOo]

Phil set aside the laptop with a weary sigh and glanced at the clock. It was past lunch time as his stomach reminded him and that was strange. Clint always demanded they eat together. 

In fact, he hadn’t seen him much at all today save for breakfast. It was Saturday, Clint’s day to do as he pleased but it was strange for him to be absent for so long. 

“Jarvis, is Clint still at the range?”

Natasha was on an op and he knew that Clint was growing increasingly anxious at her extended absence and the lack of intel Phil could provide. 

“He is on the main floor playing with Sir.” Jarvis retorted immediately and Phil was certain his ears were playing tricks on him. 

“What?” Phil got to his feet, worry creeping up his throat. Had Clint regressed without him knowing? He started toward the elevator. “Is he okay?”

“He is quite happy, as far as I can tell Agent Coulson. As is Sir.”

Phil’s frown deepened. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Tony but Tony was… Well, he wasn’t Clint’s caretaker. He pressed the button impatiently, foot tapping rapidly. “How long has he been Little?”

“I’m unable to analyze the mental state of people,” Jarvis sounded regretful. “However his current behavior has been constant for one hour and seventeen minutes.”

Tony had kept him entertained for that long? And was still happy to do so? Something was off and Phil couldn’t quite put a finger on it. As the doors finally opened, they both turned to look at him. “Daddy!” Clint chirped, hoping to his feet and abandoning a pile of toys that certainly weren’t his and an open pizza box.

Tony was kneeling beside a huge elaborate barn set that came up to his chest. There was a collection of opened toys mixed in with packaging that Phil tried to absorb as Clint threw his arms around his middle. “What’s all this?”

“Me an’ Tony got toys to play with together!”

There was a strange flush in Tony’s cheeks as the man cleared his throat and rose to his feet. “I was, uh, just trying to keep him busy.” Tony brushed his pant legs off of nonexistent dirt. “He said you were working and Steve was recovering…”

“I see that. You ordered a whole lot of toys, huh?”

“Well I was trying to keep him occupied.” Tony wouldn’t look at him, hands in his pocket. “Got him some lunch too.”

Phil ran his hand over Clint’s back. There were toys in the mix that he knew Clint wouldn’t typically play with. Robotic pieces and plastic dinosaurs. Tony looked uncomfortable, like he’d been caught doing something wrong and that had the biological urge to comfort rearing in the caretaker. If Tony was Neutral he may have simply adjusted to Clint’s Class but typically that meant him taking on a Caretaker role not regressing. 

Or maybe Phil was reading this wrong? Regardless he was compelled to reassure the clearly nervous man. 

“That was very helpful of you Tony.” Clint wriggled free and returned to the toy pile. Tony watched him, color flushing his cheeks. “Looks like you two found some really neat stuff.”

“Tony built a robot!” Clint volunteered. “So we could move the cows more ‘fficently!”

“Did he really? Can I see?” Phil approached tentatively; he didn’t want to scare Tony out of whatever mindset he was in. As a Neutral he should have aged up.

“You can show Daddy,” Clint urged, plopping down with a Nerf bow and arrow Phil would definitely have to hide. 

“Uhmm…” Tony drawled, still refusing to look at him. “I guesso.”

Phil was taken aback and more than that, he was worried. Why hadn’t Tony aged up? He knelt back down, eyes flickering nervously to Phil who hide his concern with an encouraging smile. He pulled the little robot from what looked like a garage he’d designed from Legos and shifted a big Beanie Baby turtle off a little remote control. 

It had a sort of lift rigged onto it and soon the soft whirl of a tiny motor pierced the air. It’s rubber wheels traversed the carpeted floor with ease, approaching one of the half dozen model cows. 

“You just pick ‘em up,” Tony shrugged half heartedly, tawny eye’s hesitantly meeting him through long dark lashes. “It’s no big deal.”

“Well I think it’s very neat!” Phil embellished and Tony flushed again. “But you sure ordered a lot of toys.”

“I can order anything,” Tony replied, tone braggy and immature. “Jarvis has it sent here.”

“I suppose you can,” Phil looked at the mess and the half eaten pizza. “Did you have any juice with your pizza?”

“No…” Tony glanced at the box. “But Clint had some milk.”

“And I only spilled a little bit!” Clint contributed cheerfully. 

“We should clean that up, hm?” Phil looked to Tony for confirmation. He never minded clutter but he liked things clean. Never would he suspect the man would leave spilled milk. 

Tony frowned a bit, looking from the robot to the TV where Phil realized Wall-E was playing. “Why don’t you two finish your movie and I’ll clean it up?”

“Uh...okay.” Tony began to navigate the robot back to the garage.

“Not my cow!” Clint gawked.

“I’ll bring it back later,” Tony mumbled as Phil started toward the kitchen. “After he visits the vet.”

The kitchen wasn’t terrible, just some milk pooled across the counter that hadn’t spoiled, thankfully. Phil wiped it up, distracted. Tony would have aged up; Natasha was always aware when she aged down to play with Clint and Tony didn’t seem to have that. It wasn’t hard to believe that Howard would have swayed the results of a Classification Exam but Tony hiding it for years, was. 

Unless… Unless Pepper knew something about this. 

“Jarvis, am I able to get in touch with Miss Potts?”

“She is in conference until one but is reachable in case of emergency.”

Phil wasn’t sure that this qualified as he set aside the dishcloth. Clint was due for a change and a nap however and he wasn’t sure how a disruption would affect Tony. He didn’t want to upset him or force him to age up in panic. Back in the living room Tony was letting Clint jabber on and poke at the robot. 

“You’re too little to drive yourself,” Tony told him with an air of childish importance. “Tell me where you want it to go and I’ll run it.”

Clint seemed discontent with that a moment but once he noticed Phil in the doorway he gladly recruited him to the effort. “Daddy, make Tony share with me.”

Phil wasn’t sure of authority he really had over the man? boy? Neutral? Little? but he tried to be diplomatic as he approached. Tony didn’t shrink away as much, but his shoulders hunched defensively. 

“He’s too little, Phil.” Tony pointed out adamantly. “It took me like, ages to put it together and he’ll break it. I got two so he could play but he doesn’t want to play with his own, just mine!”

Phil was absolutely certain that the robotics kit, while meant for older Littles and older children was far out of Clint’s age range and he was glad he had arrived before anything bad could happen like Clint chewing on the rubber tires. “Well,” Phil folded his hands together. “It sounds like Tony is trying to let you play with him, right? It’s a little too old for you, bug.”

Clint looked absolutely broken hearted, eyes shining with unshed tears. “But I’m Daddy’s big boy!”

“Yes you are but you’re not quite big enough for this.”

Phil’s need to tidy up the space was almost overwhelming but his fear of overreaching was ever present as well. Clint sniffled sadly, watching Tony driving the robot around the barn to where a few stray horses were set up beside little hay bales. 

“I’m going to put away the rest of the pizza okay?” Phil asked. “Unless you two are still hungry?”

Tony shook his head. Clint had shifted focus to a bundle of train tracks. “Daddy will you set this up?”

It was strange that Clint had accepted the toys so easily. Maybe it was because they were offered by a fellow Little? “It’s getting close to nap time,” Phil reminded him.

Clint balked. “No, we’re playing! Right Tony?”

“I don’t need a nap,” Tony said in indignation. 

“Me neither.” Clint scooted close to Tony, the two actually touching and the genius did not back away as he normally did. 

Phil wasn’t sure what to think anymore. “Well, I’m sure Clint could use a change — what about you?”

Phil half expected him to snark him about not being Little but instead he got a scoff. “I don’t wear pull ups, Phil. I can use the toilet, y’know,” Tony’s nose jutted up a bit. “I’m not a baby, or something.”

“I’m not a baby!” Clint protested immediately and Phil ruffled his hair.

“I know you’re not, bug. Tony, some big boys use them too. It’s not nice to call them a baby for it.” Phil wasn’t sure if he should admonish him but he knew he had to say something or else risk a meltdown from Clint.

“I wasn’t being mean, I was just saying,” Tony protested. 

“I know,” Phil looked at Clint. “Come on buddy, you can come back and watch the movie if you’d like after.”

“Are you going far away?” Tony asked, clearly trying to sound like he didn’t care but his eyes held narrowly contained worry.

“Nope. Just to the bathroom, are you going to be okay?”

“Yeah,” Tony said immediately. “I’m fine.”

When returned with a dry Clint he fully expected Tony to offer some excuse and run off to his lab. He didn’t expect him to still be there, totally absorbed in watching the movie. Clint detached himself from Phil’s side and sat down beside Tony. Phil decided to pick up, keeping sight of the two in the corner of his eye. 

By the time the room was back to order and the toys were more neatly stacked, Phil was faced with a very difficult situation. Thankfully it was nearly one and he could seek counsel with Pepper. 

Just when the public seemed to be coming to terms with Hawkeye as a Little, the Avengers had yet another one. There was no telling how they would react.


	2. lakehouses and lobsters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A forced vacation means the team is stuck together. Not everyone is excited.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m back! Sorry the delay. I hope you guys like the chapter!
> 
> not beta’d, all mistakes are my own

When Tony went away for two months Clint knew the reason. He wouldn’t say anything of course, he knew what it felt like to have a secret exposed before you were ready to share it.

Phil was a tough sell in convincing him to keep it to himself. Eventually Clint won out and when Tony finally returned because the Avengers were called to assemble, they never said anything about it. Things went back to normal from there. Clint would visit the lab to play with the ‘bots while Tony worked on whatever project had come across his table.

Clint was looking forward to a day in the range on base when he was alerted of a mandatory meeting with Fury. As he walked he considered what he had done to warrant this. It might have been the fact he shredded the paperwork requests that were faxed to him and pretended he never got them when asked. It also could have been the fact he had snagged an extra chocolate milk and forgot to pay for it in mess.

It also could have been the fact he had stolen the yogurt in the fridge that very clearly said ‘Maria Hill’. 

Thankfully the conference room had Natasha already draped over a chair, Bruce looking a bit uncomfortable beside her, Steve chatting with Tony who, by some miracle was on time. Fury and Maria were there, arms crossed, looking just as intimidating as ever. 

Clint sunk down in the nearest chair before he leaned towards Steve. “Are we in trouble?”

Steve looked up at the two stoic people. 

“Honestly, I’m not sure.”

Tony scoffed. “We all know that Spangles here is never anything less than perfect.”

“That’s not true,” Steve tutted. “I make just as many mistakes as the next person. In fact, I’d say more so.”

Tony rolled his eyes and pulled out his phone. Steve settled back in the chair, shooting Clint a smile. It was the kind of smile that said, even if we are in trouble, it’s not your fault. Phil finally arrived, arms teeming with files and a cup of coffee. The look on his face was that of a man who was far too busy. Clint always tried to help but so much of what Phil did was beyond his clearance level. 

“Sorry, I got held up.”

Clint scrambled to offer his seat — Phil looked just as exhausted as he did stressed — but he shook his head heading for the open seat on the other side of Tony. 

“We’ve got a big problem.” Fury said gruffly. “Between all of you, you’ve got almost sixty days of vacation. And that’s not counting you, Coulson.”

Vacation? Vacation time when you worked for Shield was rarely used. There was always something happening, some life or death situation that needed to be taken care of. 

“Not this again,” Phil sighed heavily, scrubbing his hand over his face. “There’s no vacationing when I’m this busy.”

“Well, effective tomorrow, I’m taking over.” Hill said pleasantly.

Phil’s face was impassive. “No.”

“It’s not up to you,” Fury replied. “Think of this as a mandatory break from work. And, just so you don’t take it upon yourself to try and save the world, you’ll be going to The Lakehouse.”

“The what?” Steve was frowning looking as confused as Clint currently was.

“It’s a house, completely off the grid where agents can safely relax. And it’s where you’re heading for the next two weeks.”

“I have plenty of houses we can go to,” Tony objected.

“I can assure you this one is far more secure. Consider it a forced break.”

“Nick,” Phil heaved a sigh. “It’s a great idea for the team but I can’t.”

“You can and you don’t have a choice.”

Clint snuck a look towards Phil. It wasn’t often that Fury pulled rank and the way that he pressed hips lips together suggested he wasn’t fond. But Phil was loyal above all so he just gave a stiff nod. 

“You think you can force me to go to...whatever this is?” Tony, looking deadpan.

“You’re an employee of Shield and in that contract you agreed to follow every order given to you by a higher rank.” Fury glared at the genius, an unforgiving, scorning look. “So yes, I can force you.”

Tony sunk down a bit in his seat looking petulant. 

“What if a situation arises?” Natasha had straightened up at some point and focused her gaze on Fury and Hill.

“We have a team on standby and, assuming it’s beyond their capabilities, Dr. Richards said his team will handle it.”

Tony jerked up right. “You asked Reed? He’s a bigger dick than I am, how the Hell do you think you can handle him?”

“Sue is a good buffer.”

“Sue?” Tony pulled a face. “On a first name basis now, huh?”

“Enough with the dramatics, Stark. You have your order. Feel free to tie up what you can today.”

[oOoOoOoOo]

Phil was a flurry of activity back in his office, muttering heatedly under his breath. 

Clint wanted to help him but he wasn’t sure when was a good time to cut in. Nat was off filing some paperwork she was probably putting off for a week. Steve had hustled away saying something about new recruits. Tony had sulked towards the exit and Bruce hopped into the nearest elevator to go down to the chem lab. 

He wasn’t sure what he thought about the forced vacation. His team definitely deserved a break but Clint knew how stir crazy being away for two weeks would make him. Phil finally looked at him, letting out a defeated chuckle. 

“I can’t believe he thinks Maria will be able to do all of this on top of her other duties.” Phil shook his head, eyes drifting down to his laptop. “Is there anything you need to do?”

Clint had sat with Natasha while she worked and polished some paperwork of his own. Not nearly as much but it was nice to think that he wouldn’t have to be stuck at a desk for two whole weeks. 

“I’m all caught up. Is there anything I can do to help?”

Phil looked at him, smiling. “Thanks little bird, but this is a little bit above you.”

Clint sighed, leaning back in the chair. “I don’t get that. I mean, we’re Avengers! Shouldn’t we know everything?”

“You know what’s necessary for you to know.” Phil was typing rapidly now. “Extra information is just asking for trouble.”

Clint scoffed in disagreement but let it go. 

“Have you been to the Lake House before?”

“A few times, to check in on agents. And to retrieve them a time or two for an emergency. It’s very nice, secluded… No wifi unfortunately because it’s meant to be untraceable.”

“Oh man, Tony is gonna lose it.” 

Everyone else was well versed away from technology. Clint and Natasha spent entire missions in radio silence at times and bunked up without connections to the outside world. Steve preferred to avoid technology when possible and Bruce had spent years in a hut in India without electricity. 

But Clint knew that technology was more than a convenience for Tony. Being without that protection, without Jarvis, wasn’t going to tide well with him. Clint felt awful for him. 

“I think we both know it’ll be a temporary hiccup before he devises some sort of beacon. I imagine that Nick will be upset about it as well if he finds out.”

Clint nibbles on his thumb nail. “Will you tell him?”

“No. I understand why he does it.”

Clint mulled that over. Phil never kept things from Nick. When he hacked Phil’s email he had told. “Your being a lot more...forgiving with him.” 

Phil clicked his tongue. “Maybe I am. Is that a problem?”

Clint felt a surge of fear in his chest. It took him off guard as moisture jumped into his eyes. Swallowing down the lump of emotion lodged in his throat he shook his head. 

“No… You wouldn’t be his Daddy right? Even...even if he asked?”

Phil looked up at him, closing the laptop despite the fact he seemed to have halted mid stroke on the keyboard. 

“As a Caregiver, I will always be concerned about the Littles around me, whether they are mine or not. But I want you to understand that I will always be yours, and yours alone.”

It was the exact reassurance Clint needed to hear and he offered a shaky smile in his direction. Phil returned it before getting right back to work. Clint stared at the ceiling tiles, utterly bored. 

“I’m gonna go find Steve.” Clint decided, getting to his feet.

“Okay. Shut the door on your way out?”

“Roger that.”

Clint found Steve in a classroom. Steve has afternoon lectures that he held about strategic thinking and planning since it was his area of expertise. Every new recruit had to get Steve’s seal of approval. He seemed to like it though. 

After hovering around the door for a few minutes, he turned away and started down the hall looking for Nat. He didn’t really know where she’d be but he checked the gym first. He didn’t see her but, since he had nothing better to do and he didn’t feel like walking all the way to elevators to go to the range, he decided to stay.

[oOoOoOoOo]

Clint likes riding in Lola both Big and Little. 

He was very much big as he kicked back in the Corvette, unsure of how he felt about this vacation. Nat and Bruce were riding with Tony because Phil was fairly certain if Natasha wasn’t there, Tony would just drive off to one of his other houses. Steve was on his motorcycle despite the lengthy trip because he never really got a chance to use it. He promised to take Clint for a ride when they got there.

“Excited, little bird?”

Phil had been in a good mood this morning, finishing off packing. Clint had tried to help last night but when he found the train left by Tony he was far too distracted. 

“Dunno, I’ve never been to a lake house before.” Clint shrugged, slipping his favorite pair of purple sunglasses. 

“We can go kayaking and swimming and there’s a beach area if you want to play in the sand.”

Clint felt an uncomfortable twinge in his gut. There were still things about being Little Clint didn’t want them to know. Like his diapers for one. 

“I figured I’d stay Big,” Clint hoped his offhanded tone would tide over well with Phil.

“We have a schedule, Clint.” Phil never looked away from the road so Clint took the chance to stick his tongue out. “I saw that, mister.”

Clint sunk down further in his seat. Scenery blurred by and Clint’s eyes got heavy. He woke up abruptly when the engine cut off, pulse racing, looking wildly for a threat but all he saw was an old fashioned gas pump and a rickety looking store. 

“It’s okay Clint.” Phil touched his arm gently. “Why don’t you get a drink while I give Lola hers?”

It was a running thing with Phil and Clint. When Lola was running low on gas she was “thirsty” and refueling was “giving Lola a drink”.

Clint’s pulse slowed and looked around a bit sluggish from his wake up. “Okay.”

Phil pulled a crisp fifty from his wallet. “One snack and a drink of your choice. I’d like a bottle of water. And the fuel.”

Clint had run a bit wild during his first time grabbing something from the store so he got why Phil laid out strict rules. “Got it.”

It was run down inside but that was the point. No security cameras and the kind of owner who hated the idea of government, ironically enough. The man nodded at Clint and Clint noted the barrel of a shotgun resting just in sight, most likely to scare off anyone thinking of robbing him. 

A lot of the snacks looked dusty, Clint hovering between something crunchy and something sweet. He ended up grabbing a bag of toffee peanuts — the best of both worlds — and then ambled back to the very loud coolers. 

One of the best things about stores like this was the old fashion bottles. Coke in a glass bottle had been Clint’s favorite thing since he was a kid. Barney taught him how to nick them from the neighborhood store but Clint didn’t have to do that. 

Because Phil. 

He got the water he asked for and checked the expiration date on everything before he went up to the counter. There was a Gatorade bottle partially filled with spit from the dip currently in his mouth. 

“You with that fella outside?” He began to punch in the prices.

Clint inclined his head, growing a bit nervous. “I don’t like t’sell to Littles I don’t know. Their Caretakers tend t’get mad.”

It certainly wasn’t the first time Clint got called out on being a Little. There was a good chance he knew because he was an Avenger but that didn’t make it any less humiliating. 

“I’m not Little now. I can buy my own things without him standing over me.”

“Get ‘im to wave okay and it’ll be alright,” he said as if he was doing Clint a huge favor but reducing Clint to ask for permission. 

Thankfully he was the only person in the store. Heaving a sigh he walked back outside to where Phil was just finishing with pumping gas. “Hey — where’s the stuff?”

“He doesn’t like to sell to Littles without their Caregiver’s permission.” Clint didn’t feel like walking back in there so he held out the money to Phil. “I don’t wanna go back in there.”

Phil’s lips set in a firm line, accepting the bill. “Okay.”

Clint slunk over to the passenger side and got into the car. He wasn’t pouting, even if it looked like he was. It was annoyance that people still treated him like a baby when he clearly wasn’t. Steve was guilty of it more than the rest of the team but Clint never really minded that. 

Strangers were another story all together. 

Clint looked over when the door opened and Phil held out his Coke, the peanuts, and a chocolate bar. 

“Whatever happened to one snack.” The bar was heavy on his palm, like a pay off. 

“We’ve got an hour and half left. One for now, one for later.” Phil replied pleasantly, clicking his safety belt in place. “Buckle up.”

“It’s not fair,” Clint burst out once they got back on the road. “I shouldn’t need permission to do basic things.”

“I agree but keep in mind where we are, Clint. Rural areas have their own way of doing things.”

Clint stared at him. 

“I’m not saying it’s right,” Phil added, “I’m just making sure you know it’s not personal.”

“It felt pretty personal.” Clint crossed his arms.

“Why don’t you try to sleep a little longer? You were only down for twenty minutes.”

“You better not be implying that I’m bothered by this because I’m grumpy and need a nap.”

Phil laughed. “I know why you’re bothered by it and I would be just as bothered in your position. What I’m implying is that we have to stop at the market near the Lakehouse and I’ll need your help.”

“My help?”

“It takes a lot of food to feed one super soldier, not to mention five other people on top of that.” 

Clint nodded his head in understanding. “Wait, does that mean you have the Shield black card?”

Phil smiled in his direction. “Nick said to spare no expense.”

Clint had always wanted to try a lobster. It was a luxurious dream when he was a kid and impossible when he joined Shield. No one had time to really prepare something like that — even Thanksgiving had corners cut on it. 

And Christmas and Easter were meant for ham. 

“Does that mean…”

“I believe it does.”

Clint whooped in excitement, grinning so widely his cheeks hurt. “Y’know I saw on TV that they’re like the spiders of the ocean! I should tell Nat that.”

Phil wrinkles up his nose. “I’m not sure that she would enjoy that trivia fact but you’re welcome to run it by her.”

“I wonder if she’s had it before. Tony musta had it! Maybe Bruce too. Steve was poor so I don’t know about him… Have you had it before?”

“I have. I think you’ll enjoy it.”

“I like anything I can dip in butter.” Clint admitted. “But oh man, this is like fancy food!”

Phil just laughed. 

[oOoOoOoOo]

Clint knelt down to stare at the tanks. 

The lobsters swam around, claws rubber banded together. A nagging worry started to pull at him as Phil requested twelve of them. 

“Hey, little bird, what are up to?”

“Umm...do they know they’re gonna be eaten? They’re not sad right?”

Phil was quiet a moment, eyes searching. As usual he was able to pinpoint exactly where he was age wise and replied, “They don’t feel sad like you and me. I think that they’ll be very happy to know they’ll be the tummy of a very nice little boy like you.”

It eased his worries and by the time they were in the car, the bag of lobsters on Clint’s lap so he could continue to stare at them, he aged back up. 

“Oh man, do you know how to cook these?”

“I do.”

Clint shook his head with a low whistle. “You know everything, don’t you? I get why people think you’re not human.”

“There are a lot of things I don’t know. I’d consider myself well rounded but that’s about the extent of it.” 

One lobster tried to climb out of the bag and suddenly Clint wasn’t feeling so big. 

“Uh, it’s gonna ‘scape!” he yelped, raising his hands quickly so the lobsters didn’t nibble his fingers off. 

Phil never took his eyes off the road, calmly nudging it back inside and moving the bag to the backseat which was piled almost roof high with groceries. It wasn’t everything, they would most definitely need to make more trips but it was enough for a few days while everyone got settled.

Clint cranked his head back. Now the danger had passed he was more curious about the crustaceans than ever. “D’ya think I could keep one in a tank?”

Phil had seen the question coming a mile away. “Sorry little bird, they don’t like tanks.”

Clint settled back with a frown. When they pulled up the winding drive towards the house situated on the lake, Clint gawked openly. 

“How big is this place? It’s like a mansion!”

“I think eight bedrooms? They’re designed as suites in case more than one agent wants to vacation here with their family.”

Tony’s bright yellow Lamborghini was sitting besides Steve’s motorcycle. Clint was eager to see them all and show off their dinner but he was also curious about the deck he could see in the distance. 

They pulled to a stop and Clint scrambled out as Tony straighten up from where he was leaning against his car. 

“About time. You know I tried to call you but I can’t because there’s no fucking service because of a cell blocker! Care to explain?”

“Hello to you too.” Phil sounded just a touch annoyed and Clint knew that was because he hated to be yelled at for things he hadn’t done. “It’s the way it’s set up. Think of it as a technology detox.”

Tony’s eyes just about bugged out of his head as the front door opened and Steve stepped out. “This sure is something, Phil.”

“You cannot seriously think I’ll stay here.”

“You’re welcome to leave at any time Tony, but you won’t be an employee of Shield anymore and, by extent, an Avenger. And I really don’t want that.” 

Tony’s anger turned to outright irate. Clint felt bad. He knew that technology was Tony’s way of feeling safe. 

“You don’t gotta be sad. We have lobsters!”

Tony looked at him a moment and the anger in his eyes softened, just a little bit. “Lobsters huh? Well, at least we don’t have to eat cavemen even if we’re stuck in this primitive hell hole.”

“Where’s Tasha?” Clint bounced on his toes. “She’s gotta see. And Bruce too. Steve! Did you wanna see the lobsters?”

“Kid gets something stuck in his head and he doesn’t let go, huh?” Tony muttered stowing away his phone. “Alright, show me the lobsters.”


	3. poker and hugs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint does his best to get adjusted (but that means rapidly cycling through head spaces). 
> 
> And he tries lobster for the very first time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this little story is getting a little bit bigger as you can tell from the chapter amount changes but I have some very exciting things planned and I hope you guys will join me on this ride.
> 
> Also, your comments motivate me to write so please feel free to leave comments or constructive criticism for me as well as things you’d like to see (or see more of). 
> 
> Phew that enough rambling! Please enjoy!

The lakehouse was significantly larger than expected, two stories high, recently renovated. And Clint was taking full advantage of the space by running high speed across the massive dining room while Steve did his absolute best to make sure he didn’t fall or slam into the walls. 

“I’m ice skating!”

The hardwood must have been recently waxed because they were extremely slippery when wearing just socks. Phil was busy killing the lobsters with Natasha and Steve’s job was making sure Clint had no idea. Bruce and Tony had gone out to the back deck leaving Steve alone in a seemingly impossible task. He kept trying to run towards the kitchen, undoubtedly to show Phil his new found skill, and Steve was running out of ways to wrangle him back. 

Finally Steve catching him around the middle and hoisting him up so he could touch the ceiling worked just long enough for Natasha to finish and come back into the dining. She was dressed for vacation, wearing jeans for the first time in a long time, a plain gray t-shirt. It was a welcome change from her typical ‘mission ready’ wardrobe. Mostly Steve was pleased that she was finally comfortable enough to show the more personal side of herself. 

“Tasha can we go swimming?”

“It’s almost dinner.”

“Do I get’a help?” 

“Absolutely not. How could you when I haven’t even shown you my room yet?”

Steve smiled in appreciation before going to assist Phil. He was chopping up vegetables looking relaxed for the first time in ages. 

“Can I lend a hand?”

Phil looked up sharply. “Who’s with Clint?”

“Natasha.”

The panic died down and Steve felt that familiar ache of jealousy. He wished he had a Little of his own to worry about. But time spent wishing for something that couldn’t happen, was time wasted. 

“I’d hate for him to go through someone’s luggage.” Phil explained. “Here, you can cut up some zucchini.”

Steve washed his hands and began to cut up the squash. “He’s been very up and down today,” Phil contributed. “I’m hoping he levels out in time for dinner. Clint was really looking forward to trying lobster for the first time.”

Steve wanted him to have the moment but the idea of having Clint Little for two weeks was like a dream. 

Natasha came back — but Clint was nowhere in sight. 

“Where’s Clint,” Phil and Steve asked at the same exact time. 

“Easy there, guys,” she strode around the wrap around the peninsula and stole a cube of zucchini off the cutting board. “He’s asleep.”

“He was just ‘ice skating’ around this room. What do you mean by ‘asleep’ Natasha?” Phil asked sternly.

Natasha laughed. “Give me some credit here, Coulson. He’s my best friend, I’d never hurt him. He’s got his плюшевая игрушка and I sang him a lullaby and now he’s fast asleep.”

“I take it he dug through his suitcase?”

“Correct.” Phil sighed. ”So what are you boys up to?”

“Making dinner.”

“Lobsters, it appears.”

“You‘re correct. Hopefully Clint wakes up Big, he really wanted to eat these.” Phil said again frowning and looking worriedly towards the hallway leading to the stairs.

Without the distraction of being Captain America the ache to care for a Little was unavoidable. He tried to focus on chopping vegetables and push it all down. 

“Maybe. Did you see where Bruce went off to?”

Steve had noticed the two gravitating towards each more and more since the team first assembled. As far as he could see the two of them were good for each other and they were both mature enough that should things not work out, it wouldn’t damage team dynamics.

“Back deck. Hopefully they’re still there.” Natasha turned to go, her pony tail swishing through the hair. “And please make sure Tony isn’t taking apart the grill.”

“Sure thing Boss.” 

Her relaxed demeanor helped Steve to calm down a bit more. He’d never really had a vacation; this was the sort of thing he wished he could have done with Bucky when he was a kid but… Immediately he regretted thinking about him, the pain of watching him fall from the train washing over him with a tidal wave of guilt. 

If he had just grabbed his hand…

“You’re going to cut through the board if you keep that up, Captain.” 

Steve came back to reality to see the deep gouges he’d made in the cutting board. “I’ll buy a new one. I’m so sorry Phil.”

Phil shook his head dismissively. “I’ll pick up on my next run out. Would you like to talk about it?”

Steve laughed awkwardly. “There’s nothing to talk about. I forget my own strength sometimes.”

Phil scrutinized him a moment, obviously not convinced, but he didn’t press. Instead he handed Steve a bag full of garlic cloves. 

“Care to mince these?”

Steve was grateful for any distraction really.

[OoOoOoO]

Clint woke up in the wrong room, his face pressed into Chirp’s whose fur was all wet and sticky, and the smell of Natasha’s hair in his nose. He sat up slowly, rubbing sleep from his eyes and he blinked around the room. The shades were drawn and a seashell lamp on the opposite side of the bed cast a warm glow. 

Black suitcases sat neatly beneath a closet hung and organized above a small array of Natasha’s shoes. Clint had a bit of a headache from the constant age changes but he hoped to stay Big for the rest of the night and, preferably, the rest of the vacation. Phil needed time to unwind and so did Steve and Natasha and he didn’t want them to have to take care of him. That wasn’t fair.

He was wet but thankfully it hadn’t gotten on Natasha’s bed. It was interesting to note that her pillow from her bed back at the tower was here, the light gray standing out from the tacky beach themed linens. Clint knew that Phil would want to know he was awake but he went back to their room to clean up first. His jaw dropped in horror as he stepped through the door, however. It was like a hurricane had gone off. Hurricane Clint. 

All his clothes, all the embarrassing baby stuff, toys that Phil had insisted upon despite Clint reminding him he wouldn’t need them, covering every inch of the previously immaculate room. Thankfully Phil’s suitcases were untouched.

Blowing out a breath Clint grabbed a new pull up and wipes and stepped carefully around this and that to the attached bathroom. It was roomy, the tub definitely big enough for a very fun bubble bath — not that he was going to take one! The shower cube made of frosted glass was his to use for the next two weeks. He could bathe himself just fine and maybe even Phil for a change. Give him proper time to relax.

When Clint was dry he started on the laborious task of cleaning up after Little Clint. He had no idea how Phil did it; he must have been an absolute nightmare. Chirp was placed on Clint’s side of the bed and covered over with Blanket, just in case he was still sleepy. Once everything was stuffed back into the ridiculous purple suitcases with cartoon animals printed onto them (and yes, he had literally stuffed the items in; folding was stupid, they were just going to be unfolded anyway) he pushed them back beside Phil’s and admired how responsible he already was. 

Sure they looked a little lumpy but that didn’t really matter. 

He had to wander a bit to find the stairs. Clint hoped to run into someone but he didn’t and figured they were all downstairs. 

He hopped down the steps, two at a time and then three and he was about to do four but Phil called, “Clint, don’t you dare.”

He had no idea how the man had seen him almost halfway across this massive house but Clint learned not to ask questions. Sighing in disappointment he did the lame thing and took the steps one at a time. He hoped he hadn't missed lobster and the fact his stomach was growling suggested that dinner was yet to be served.

Phil was putting together a salad and Steve was cutting up garlic by the smell of it. Bruce, Natasha and Tony were playing poker and by the pile of bills sitting beside Nat, she was winning. Tony looked irritated and Bruce perplexed. 

“Good nap?” Natasha asked cheekily.

“Ha ha. Room for one more?”

“40 to buy in,” Tony said immediately.

Clint looked hopefully towards Phil. It wasn’t that Phil controlled Clint’s money, it wasn’t that at all. He was more of a financial advisor because Clint had a tendency to give it away and or spend 858 dollars trying to win a Gameboy at an arcade machine. So it was nice to have a middle man.

“I have eighty in my wallet.”

“Yes!”

Phil washed his hands while they finished their current round where, surprise, Natasha won. 

“I don’t know if you wanna bother Barton, she’s a cheat.”

“Don’t get pissy because I’m better at this than you,” 

She took a sip of her disgusting seltzer water (bubbly things were supposed to be sweet; everyone knows that), and glanced at Clint, green eyes warm. In the back of his mind he could hear her singing, voice soft and sweet and just a touch husky in a language he didn’t know. But like smoke, it dissipated and he wondered if it had just been a dream. 

“Here you are,” Phil passed him the bills. “I sincerely hope you win but judging by her win streak, that may not happen.”

And it didn’t. Bruce was smart and folded early but Tony and Clint were intent on beating her...and failed.

“Better luck next time boys.”

She counted her cash and then began to slide it back to its rightful owner. “You won it fair and square, it doesn’t hurt me any.” Tony pushed it back. “Buy yourself some shoes or a gun or, I don’t know, a new garrote.”

“All excellent weapon ideas.”

“Shoes? No, don’t tell me. I don’t want to know.” Tony held his hands up getting up from the table.

Clint gave his back as well. “Don’t really need it.”

“Are you sure? You can buy a lot of pizzas with eighty bucks.”

Clint grinned. “Last time I did that Phil blocked the delivery number on my phone for a month.”

“And I’ll do it again.”

Natasha went upstairs to tuck away her winnings and Bruce went up to his room as well so Clint joined Tony overlooking dinner preparation. “So this is your first time having lobster huh?”

Clint nodded his head. “I’m pumped!”

And he really was until he was sitting in front of an actual lobster. “Do you want help, little bird?”

Clint’s cheeks burned. Between the nickname and the assumption (however correct) that he didn’t know what he was doing he felt he had something to prove. “I can do it.”

“Like this,” Steve picked up the lobster and ripped it claw off. 

Clint gulped and the space between him and Steve got a bit bigger. He hung on however, unwilling to give Little Clint a moment he had waited years for. Recognizing his own limitations he was about to ask for Phil’s help but Natasha grabbed his plate and, with the skill of a professional, deconstructed it too fast to be even remotely unsettling. The cracks came quick and then she set the meat on his plate in fluent movements (using his fork to cut the claw meat into a less recognizable shape). She broke the legs up as well but left the hunk of tail meat intact. The shell she sat to the left of her out of Clint’s sight.

He was incredibly thankful but he still said, “I could’ve done it.”

“I happen to like doing it,” she shot back and began to break down Bruce’s as well.

He picked up his first piece and dipped it into the butter before he popped it in his mouth. 

He chewed, once, twice and as it turns out, he doesn’t like lobster one bit. 

He felt bad Phil had gone through all the effort only to have to get up and make him grilled cheese (and green beans, yuck) but everyone else was loving it. Steve had hastily volunteered to eat his lobster and Clint was glad it wouldn’t be wasted. 

He wasn’t one for fancy food after all.

[oOoOoOoOo]

After the kitchen was clean and the dishes taken care of everyone migrated towards their rooms. 

It seemed they were all tired from the long ride. As for Clint...not so much. “You picked up without being asked to.” Phil said when he stepped into the room. Clint had no idea how he even knew it’d been a mess in the first place. “Good job Clint.”

Warm pride blossomed in his belly as he offered to help Phil unpack. “How about you unpack your things?” Phil said instead. “Then we can finish together and find an activity.”

“You don’t need to entertain me, Phil. It’s your time to relax — Fury’s orders!”

“I am well aware, thank you.” Phil began to pull out his shirts and hang them on the wire hangers provided. “Have you considered that I enjoy spending time with you and find it relaxing?”

Clint sprawled back on the bed in exasperation and then turned his head to make sure he hadn’t woken up Chirp by knocking him off his perch on his pillow. 

“That’s impossible Phil. Did you see the mess I made in here?”

Phil smoothed out a shirt draped over his arm. 

“I did not. Natasha told me about it.”

“It was really freakin’ bad.” Clint said gravely, lifting his head to watch Phil hanging up another armload. “You must hate cleaning up after me.”

“You help me,” Phil said simply. “To the very best of you ability. You always want to help, Big or Little, and that’s one of a thousand reasons I love you.”

It meant more to Clint than he could every express with words so he rolled off the bed and hugged Phil tightly as he was hanging up yet another armload of clothes. “I love you Phil.” Clint’s face was smooshed into his chest. “You’re the best partner and Daddy anyone could ask for.”

Phil kissed the top of his head and Clint untangled himself. 

As it turned out Phil wasn’t exactly pleased with his method of cleaning up and the two spent forty minutes refolding all his clothes (he didn’t even care about Clint’s very logical point that it was a waste of time). Phil stocked the basket under the sink with changing stuff while Clint sulked about it on the bed and when he returned he suggested Clint read him a story. He was always on Clint about keeping up on and polishing his literary skill. When it got hard and frustrating, Phil would hug him tight and tell him what a good job he was doing. 

After he finished The Giving Tree (with some help from Phil on the big words) he was starting to feel a little sleepy. “Would you like a bath tonight?”

“I’ll take one tomorrow,” Chirp had somehow migrated to the crook of his arm and the idea of leaving him behind was too strenuous.

Phil looked him over and then nodded. “I’m going to shower then.”

“Can I got say ‘night to Steve?”

“Yes but knock before you go in.”

Clint slipped out of the bed and figured that since everyone was in their rooms it wouldn’t be too big of a deal to bring him along. Besides, Chirp wanted a look around too. Steve’s room was just down the hall and the door wasn’t fully shut so Clint peeked inside. Steve’s back was to him, his suitcase lying open but not yet unpacked. He was holding a photograph in his hands, black and white by the look of it and from the war judging by the bit of helmet he could see. 

He leaned forward to look a bit further but the door creaked and Clint scrambled back guiltily. Steve turned around and opened the door looking confused until his blue eyes came to rest on a very guilty Clint. 

“Hey there, bud. Giving Chirp the grand tour?”

“Yeah-huh,” Clint nodded, eyes straying to the photograph placed facedown. He was Big enough not to ask, but just barely. “I wanted to say goodnight.”

Steve smiled. “That is very nice of you. Goodnight Clint.”

Clint shuffled his feet, looking at his socked feet and then cranking his head back to look at Steve. 

“Can I give you a hug?”

Daddy always told him that he needed to ask first ever since the time he scared Bruce with a hug. He said that it was good to respect people’s space. “You absolutely can.”

Clint hugged him tightly and Steve gave him a tight squeeze in return. Daddy hugs were special but so were Steve hugs. 

“Can I sit with you ‘til Daddy is done in the shower?”

“I’d be honored to have you keep me company.”

Clint settled on Steve’s bed and looked around. It looked just like their room and Natasha’s room. 

“We all gots the same room.” Clint hugged Chirp to his chest as he watched Steve set the photo frame on the nightstand beside him. “Who’re they?”

Steve smiled but it was a sad smile and his eyes looked far away. “My — I mean, the Howling Commandos.” 

Clint’s mouth formed an O as he looked at their grainy faces. He was too Little to know all their names but he knew the one Steve had his arm around. 

“Sergeant Barnes,” Clint poked a finger towards it but didn’t tough it; Daddy said not to touch other people’s things. 

“Yeah,” Steve’s voice was soft and he putting his socks in the drawer. “Best sniper of his time.”

“Best sniper,” Clint bobbed his head. “Wanna sleep with Chirp?”

“Oh no, Clint. That is so sweet of you but he needs to be with you!”

Clint frowned discussing it with Chirp. Clint sighed. “He says he’s gotta. It’s okay, I have Blanket.”

“Clint — ”

“He’ll keep me awake a’ night squawking!” Clint cried. “He really, really wants to!”

Steve sighed in resignation. “Okay, but just for tonight Chirp. You need to keep Clint safe!”

“I have Daddy.” And speaking of which, Clint slipped down from the bed and padded across the floor. “Night night Steve.”

The Caretaker was still holding the plushie looking perplexed but he smiled at the departing Little and said, “Night night Clint.”


	4. Sunrises and Sandcastles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil and Clint come to an understanding about their vacation. Natasha still cheats at cards (according to Tony).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the delay! I appreciate all of your lovely comments, they get me motivation to write. I hope you guys like it!

Clint tried to slip out of bed quietly so Phil could sleep in but Phil woke at the slightest shift. 

“Where are you off to Little Bird?” Phil’s voice was deep and sleepy.

Clint pulled his leg back up and turned towards him. “I was gonna go downstairs, get a proper look around the place.”

He didn’t mention the itch under his skin from yesterday, the shakiness from such rapid fluctuations. Of course he had a feeling he didn’t need to, Phil was finely tuned to him, he knew Clint inside and out. Phil made a sound of agreement and looked towards the big windows opposite the bed. The shades were drawn but the early morning light illuminated the fabric. 

“It’ll be nice to watch the sunrise over the lake.”

It was the opposite of what Clint had wanted. Even when he was Big, Phil couldn’t help but look over him, to be a call away if needed. That was in no way relaxation. “Stay here,” Clint tried to be firm like Phil was. “Get some sleep.”

“If I sleep much later I won’t be able to fall asleep tonight.” Phil sat up, immediately reaching up to fix his hair. Clint was the only one who saw him without a lense of perfection. It was nice, it made him feel special. “Let’s get some breakfast.”

“And coffee.” Clint wasn’t going to fight him, that was useless. “Definitely coffee.”

Phil put on his slippers and nodded. “Coffee sounds good.”

Unsurprisingly everyone was rising at the same time, though Tony was twitchy so he probably hadn’t even slept. Steve was gone, probably on a run. Bruce and Natasha were sitting together, discussing something but they stopped when they entered which made Clint only a little guarded. 

“Well if it isn’t Mr Lobster.” Natasha was fully dressed already, as was everyone else, but Clint liked pajamas and everyone knew it. “Good morning Phil.”

“Good morning,” Phil returned warmly while Clint just scowled her way.

“It’s gross. You guys are all gross for eating it.”

They had mugs in front of them but they were tea. The only drinking coffee was Tony but that wasn’t unusual in the slightest. 

“You all are lucky I thought to bring coffee from the Tower.” 

Clint never got the difference. Coffee was coffee. 

“I don’t think we all have your superior palate, Tony.” Phil grabbed two mugs and Clint grabbed the pot handle. “But I do appreciate the quality so thank you.”

Tony looked pleased at his approval and Clint tried not to get upset about it. Prior to living with Phil coffee was a major part of Clint’s diet and a viable substitute for meals. Apparently that wasn’t ‘healthy’ or whatever and they had agreed that one cup is plenty because Littles are naturally sensitive to caffeine intake. Clint was fairly certain he’d built up a tolerance but he didn’t make a fuss about it. One cup was better than no cups after all.

“What are we thinking for breakfast?” Phil asked generally.

Clint knew Phil liked cooking although he rarely had time to indulge in the hobby. Natasha got to her feet, today wearing shorts to Clint’s surprise. Natasha didn’t show much extra skin and while he wasn’t sure why that was, it never seemed appropriate to ask. The steps had been there of course: sweaters to short sleeves to tank tops to actually wearing a bikini in front of the team. 

But wearing it to swim verses wearing it casually was different. It was good. Clint wanted Nat to feel comfortable. And beige cotton shorts by the lake was comfortable as far as Clint knew.

“Bruce and I thought we might work on it.” She looked over her shoulder and grinned mischievously. “Well Bruce‘ll be the one doing all the heavy lifting. I’ll just watch on and try to learn.”

Tony rolled his eyes at the obvious unspoken relationship that had bloomed and Clint wanted to laugh. But since Natasha and Bruce had gotten closer, she’d drawn Bruce out of his shell a bit more and he now interacted with the team more frequently. Less time hiding in the lab and more time doing things like cooking for everyone and joining in on impromptu card games. And Bruce had made Natasha smile more. Her Black Widow mask slipped a bit more to reveal the woman beneath and that was good, Clint though, because it was a pity to keep her personality so tightly under wrap. 

It felt like their team, their ragtag little family, was really starting to come together. Clint began to tip the sugar container down into the cup but Phil, without even pausing his sip of coffee, caught it and set it back on the counter, producing a spoon from who knows where. Clint might have pouted but it was only a little. 

The first drink of coffee was from a chunky clay mug with ‘Best Teacher’ adorned on the side. Clint thought that Shield ought to have nicer cups. He considered voicing it to Phil but knowing Phil he’d actually note it down and write up a formal request and all the things he wasn’t supposed to do. So Clint just took another gulp.

“I’m going to the deck if you’d like to come.”

Clint thought that watching the sunrise was a bit boring but he wanted to spend time with Phil so he nodded his head. The deck went out over the bank so when Clint leaned over the railing to look down all he could see were tall shrubs. 

“Please don’t do that, I don’t want you to fall.”

“I won’t fall,” Clint protested despite his past record of falling off things. “I’m not that clumsy.”

Phil smiles patiently. “I know, but humor me, alright. These deck chairs look comfortable.”

They sat down in them, sturdy handmade ones, no cheap pressure treated boards or plastic designed to look like wood. It was strange what Shield decided to splurge on. The lake looked like a pane of dark glass, the first rays of light were shining over the mountains in the distance. The sky was soft shades of pink. 

Clint really wished he could have been the kind of person who loved this kind of crap. But he had nothing to do, nothing to work on or somewhere to go and he was thrumming with energy. Phil looked really happy though and that made Clint happy. He settled back and rested his head against Phil’s shoulder and watch the sun climb up into the sky. 

It wasn’t that interesting but it was nice to be with Phil. 

Even after the sun was up and their coffee was gone (Clint wanted more but he knew it was a fruitless endeavor; Phil would just offer hot cocoa instead) they remained there. Down below Clint could see the beach area, a wide space of sand and a dock to the right. There were three kayaks of various colors shored there as well. 

Eventually impatience won out and Clint straightened up. 

“Where do you think Steve is?”

“I didn’t hear a motorcycle so probably running.”

“Where do you think he ran?”

“I’m not too sure. Pretty far, I’m guessing.”

Clint sat back with a hmph. He bounced his knee and tapped his index finger against the arm of the chair. Phil tolerated it for about all of two minutes before he clapped his hands together. 

“So, vacation. What would you like to do?”

“I dunno. Something fun, I guess.”

“Fun would be nice. It’s almost breakfast, want to head in for that? Maybe Tony has some ideas.”

“Maybe.”

The dining room smelled really good and Clint realized how hungry he was. He snagged both their empty mugs to wash and to maybe sneak a little bacon because he definitely could smell that.

Natasha was perched on the counter, watching Bruce cook and the plate was right there, teaming with a bacon pile because they all had healthy appetites and so did Steve. 

“Don’t do it Barton.”

“What’re you gonna do about it?”

“I’ll drop you in this kitchen, vacation be damned.” 

There was no heat, just their usual bickering and that felt nice. Clint, deterred from sneaking a strip of bacon for himself, washed the cups and set them aside to dry. He peeked at the stove top and saw some type of eggs. It looked funny but it smelled great so Clint was more than willing to give it a try. 

Phil was rummaging in the cabinets beneath the three big wooden bookcases. Just looking at all those books bored Clint to tears. “There’s a lot of games down here Clint,” Phil said, still rooting around. “There’s a shed down by the beach with some outdoor activities I believe.”

“Okay.”

Clint was happy for any distraction, really. Although he really wanted Steve to come back. He always had good ideas about keeping busy. And, maybe, he wanted to check in on Chirp. 

Steve finally arrived, ten minutes or so later, with a plastic bag and a sweat dampened tee. Clint squinted at the bag, analyzing the familiar shape and then he whooped, scrambling around the table. “Donuts! Yes!”

Steve smiled but held the bag out of reach. “Looks like they’re making breakfast. Maybe you can have one as a snack later?”

Clint protested, swinging around to get Phil’s approval but the way he looked at him told him immediately that it was a lost case. He deflated, sinking down in the nearest chair.

Life really wasn’t fair sometimes.

“Good run?” 

“Yeah, a nice change of scenery,” Steve replied looking at Natasha who’d twisted around to ask. 

“Good.” She went back to observing Bruce. 

“Did you sleep okay?” Steve asked Clint.

“Yeah… You?” He tried not to be overtly obvious in his worries. 

Steve smiled, a special knowing smile that told Clint that his efforts were wasted. “Yes, I had someone to watch over me.”

Clint’s cheeks reddened a bit. “Good.” He looked around and sighed in boredom. “You sure I can’t have a donut?”

“Positive.” Phil said.

Well.

[OoOoOoO]

After breakfast Phil offered to wash the dishes and recruited Clint into the efforts of drying. Tony sulked in the general area, commenting on the fact it was nothing short of torture to have a house without a dishwasher. Steve, as per his usual, disagreed. 

Everyone was idle afterwards, the impact of having nothing required of them hitting them all at once. It was one thing if it was a day or two in the Tower. This was a whole other world. 

“We could kayak.” Clint suggested.

Phil looked wary. “We didn’t bring a life vest.”

“I can swim Phil.”

“I’d just feel more comfortable if we were safe.”

Clint groaned, maybe a bit dramatically, because he knew that everyone else would be using the kayaks at some point in the next two weeks. Clint pondered it and then said, “Oh I have an idea!” 

“It’s not warm enough to swim,” 

Clint humphed grumpily. 

Eventually it was decided that they find their own entertainment until after lunch and then do some team bonding down at the beach. Bruce and Natasha wandered upstairs — Clint didn’t want to even think about how they’d fill their time — leaving Steve, Tony, Phil and Clint still trying to figure it out. 

“If we hadn’t lost all our cash to Romanoff I’d suggest poker.”

“We could play for chips,” Steve offered.

Tony’s face drew up in disgust. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“There are board games.”

“Boring.” Tony sighed heavily. “I’m fairly certain I am going to die before this hell is over.”

“It’s nice.” Steve corrected.

“You’d think so.”

“Well, Clint and I have a bed to make. If you decide on a game to play we’ll gladly join.”

Clint wasn’t too interested in making the bed but he was trying his best not to stress Phil out. The bed wasn’t that disheveled, the whole process taking all of five seconds between the two of them to get it to military standards. Phil hummed, opening the shades to look at the lake. 

“I always wanted to bring you to a place like this. Time wise I thought I’d never be able to. I’m thankful for that.” 

Time with Phil was definitely worth the boredom. 

“Yesterday was weird.” Clint said, if only to have something to talk about. 

Phil turned around to face him. “It was stressful for you Clint. We’re still adjusting to your schedule, it’s not surprising although I would say it was a bit concerning from my perspective.”

Clint wasn’t reassured, he was frustrated. “I don’t want to be Little here, Phil. I… Fuck, you don’t get how…”

Normally Phil would have reprimanded the language but if this was how Clint felt he needed to express himself he was okay with it. Phil didn’t interject or offer suggestions of what he thought Clint was trying to say. He let him process it, face scrunched up as he tried to find words for his emotions.

Clint took a deep breath and toyed with his fingers. “You don’t understand what it’s like to be a burden.” 

It shouldn’t have taken Phil by surprise. He often said that Phil shouldn’t have to care for him but he had always thought of it as bashfulness. But this made Phil’s chest ache and he questioned his abilities as a Caretaker.

“You are not a burden, Clint. You’ll never be.” Phil wanted to be stern because it was so important to him that Clint understood this but he didn’t know how he would react to that. Phil chose the diplomatic approach instead. “Every second I spend with you, Big and Little, is a gift. I feel indescribably lucky to be able to care for you. Okay?”

Clint’s eyes looked a little wet and he had stopped fidgeting. Phil wrapped him up in a hug, a tight long one and he murmured how much he loved Clint. When they pulled apart Clint seemed a lot more relaxed. 

“We can head back downstairs if you’d like. Or stay here and play.”

Clint glanced at the door and then the suitcase. Phil could see him weighing the choices. To be Big or to be Little. A full day as one or the other would do wonders in regulating him. 

“Play.” Clint plopped down where he was standing and looked expectantly at the suitcase where his toys were stored. 

Phil sat it on its side and left it open for Clint to treat as a makeshift toy chest. There was plenty of space for Clint to play, the rooms roomier than Phil had expected. Clint shuffled to it on his knees and Phil lowered himself to the floor. Observing or engaging was fine with him. Just seeing him happy meant the world. It would make this forced absence from work tolerable. 

Clint rifled through it and then sat back with a sigh of discontent. “What’s wrong?” 

Clint still didn’t have many toys and the bulk of the ones he had that were purchased by Tony were easily accepted. Phil wondered why that was but he wasn’t going to push the topic and scare him off playing with them. 

“I wanna color.”

He was energetic when he was Little but he had slow days too. “Well, let's go see what we can find.”

Hand in hand they went back downstairs where Tony was back at the coffee machine despite being extremely jittery and Steve was playing a game of solitaire. 

“Hey guys,” he greeted and Clint ran over to his side to look at his cards. 

“What are you doing?”

He reached out grabbed the red card that had a lady on it and then one with a funny clown. “Clint,” Phil said sternly and he looked up guiltily.

“It’s alright, it was a long round anyhow.” Steve shifted over to give Clint full access to the cards. 

They didn’t entertain him long and soon he spun around looking for something new to play with. 

“Tony!” Clint ran at the startled genius who quickly set down his mug. “Tony, come play with me again! I got the cows and the farmset and the legos and not the ‘bots cos Daddy said I was too little but you’re not too little! Did you bring your toys?”

Clint pauses to suck in a breath and Tony looked more than uncomfortable. He looked strained and Phil knew he needed to intervene. “Clint, we’re looking for coloring stuff right?”

“I have my art bag,” Steve volunteered. 

Phil made a mental note to replace the items Clint used. He knew how expensive his supplies were and he wished he had remembered Clint’s coloring books. Steve went to retrieve the bag and Phil started to gather the deck of cards to avoid Clint running off with one and rending the set useless. 

Tony hadn’t drifted out as expected after Clint’s reaction to him and Phil wondered if he would regress here. He’d fight it tooth and nail, Phil suspected, but when Littles were around other Littles, regression was near infectious. Clint was bouncing on the balls of his feet, head cranked back in the direction Steve had gone. 

Phil was planning for an outing tomorrow so he made a mental note to grab a few coloring books and crayons. He had snagged a stack of pamphlets from the supermarket on local spots to visit. There was a train museum, a conservatory, and a dairy farm. He knew that the museum would be a hard sell for Clint, Little or Big. Animals were a sure bet however. 

There was also a local brewery but that visit would have to be well planned out. If Fury was there he’d probably chastise Phil for planning team activities when he was supposed to be focused on relaxing but he couldn’t help himself. Steve came down the stairs with his art satchel and Clint glued himself to his side immediately. 

“You gotta draw something!” Clint exclaimed. 

Steve pulled back the blank sheet of his sketch pad he’d torn out. “Okay, what would like me to draw.”

“Ummm…” Clint thought it over and then said, “A kitty cat!”

Steve got to work and soon his pencil lines were being covered by black marker to make the lines clean. Clint peered at it. “It’s gotta be standing in flowers! And the sun!”

“Clint,” Phil began. 

“It’s okay,” Steve assured him. “Flowers and a sun coming right up.”

When Steve was done and Clint parked, coloring with his Prismacolor pencils, they managed to coax Tony into a game of texas holdem for bragging rights. 

They spent nearly an hour there until Natasha appeared, hair damp. Bruce followed up shortly afterward, hair also wet. Clint squinted at them. 

“Did you guys go swimming?”

“Yup,” Natasha sat down in the chair beside Clint. “Purple cats are the coolest huh?”

Clint nodded proudly. “Steve drew it but I made it purple.”

“An excellent choice.”

Phil noted Bruce idling and nodded his head at the open chair. “We’ll deal you in next round.”

“Natasha is not invited,” Tony added. 

“That’s perfectly fine. I’m hanging out with the coolest guy here anyway.”

Clint puffed out his chest at that. Every now and then Clint would throw down a pencil to scoop up another and Steve flinched a bit. Phil decided he’d buy the biggest size they came in. 

Suddenly Clint stopped drawing and froze. Phil didn’t notice immediately, busy trying to read Bruce who had a shockingly good poker face. He never could nail down when the small man was bluffing. Then he heard quietly sniffling and Phil looked over to see Clint hunched over and crying.

He laid down his cards immediately, getting up see what had happened (a splinter for the pencils? A mishap in his coloring that made him think Phil would like it?) but as he approached he knew exactly what had upset him. 

“Why don’t you play for me,” Phil suggested you Natasha who was observing.

“On it, Boss.” 

Tony made a noise of frustration at the wicked grin directed at him and Phil gave Clint a small nudge. “C’mon Little Bird,” he said quietly. “We’ll get you cleaned up. Won’t that be better?”

Clint bobbed his head looking at Phil with wet blue eyes, tear tracks running down his cheeks. It broke Phil’s heart. He scooped him up and brought him upstairs, trying to calm him. “It’s okay.”

“‘m sorry Daddy,” he whispered as they reached the landing.

“You have nothing to be sorry about. Now no more tears, I think it’s about time to get you into your swim trunks, hm?”

Clint rubbed his eyes with a sniffle, tear flow slowing but not quite stopped. “Sandcastle?”

“Sandcastles sound just perfect, little bird.”

Clint didn’t fuss much through the change and he didn’t object to the swim diaper either, too busy staring at the shell patterned wallpaper. Phil made a note to request the decor be updated, it was gaudy to say the least. Phil slipped the rubber duck patterned shorts onto him and scooped him up. 

He’d stopped crying and once on his feet he went to the suitcase to root around for the sand toys. Phil had to thank Tony for getting him to accept new toys. Even if half the toys he’d gotten him had to be confiscated because they were far too old for him but Tony hadn’t known that. He was still itching to discuss it with Pepper but he was worried about scaring the man away permanently. Two months was enough worry for Phil; at least he could keep somewhat of an eye on him here.

Clint was determined to walk down the steps himself, right hand clasping Phil’s for extra balance and the handle of the pail in his left. It was slow going but Phil didn’t mind. The game seemed to have been abandoned because Tony was currently proclaiming Natasha to be a cheater and she was egging on his theatrics. Bruce was calmly listening in, well aware that Natasha could hold her own in all situations, verbal or otherwise. Steve kept trying to get a word in, clearing attempting to remain passive but deescalate for Tony’s sake. 

Phil opened his mouth to cut in but Clint beat him to it. “Sand!”

Like a flip switching everyone quieted down, looking over to him. 

“Sand, Tony! You play with me?”

Phil felt awful. Clint didn’t spend time with other Littles nearly enough. It was hard working with Shield, everyone had to be carefully vetted and there were too many variables beyond their control. Of course Clint had attached to Tony. But it wasn’t an option with him. 

“Uh, I’ll watch you play if you want?”

Clint’s face fell. “Play with me...please?”

Tony looked a bit stressed and Phil hoped he’d agree. Clint had only just stopped crying. 

“No thank you.”

Exactly as expected, Clint began to cry. “You’ve really got a way with kids, Stark,” Natasha rolled her eyes. “I’ll play with you Clint. We’ll build such a big tower it’ll put Tony’s to shame.”

Tony huffed out an annoyed breath as Steve frowned at him. 

Clint wiped away his tears. “Okay.”

“Maybe we can recruit Bruce to the effort,” Natasha said in a carrying whisper.

Clint grinned. “Build a moat!”

“All towers need moats. But first I think we need sunscreen.”


	5. swimming and sand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A day on the beach brings out Clint’s new best friend. Phil finally tells Steve that Tony is a Little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I’m back! I hope you guys like this!

Any previous upset was gone once they got down the beach. Clint assessed the sand for optimal castle building and walked a few feet towards where the lake lapped against the beach and sat down. Phil laid out his towel beside him, his bag stocked with snacks and plenty of water. 

Clint had picked a good spot, close enough to the water that should he need wet sand it was there. Natasha had made quick work of the plastic netting and Phil stowed it in his bag. Clint upturned the tools and took time to study them before dolling out equipment. Natasha was given the red plastic rake to smooth out the terrain. Bruce was handed a spade with no directions as Clint grabbed the bucket and went down to the edge of the water. 

Phil didn’t think he’d go into the water but he watched closely regardless. Clint filled up his bucket with water and then got busy digging a hole to store it in. 

“This is the lake,” he proclaimed. “Don’t fall in, okay?”

“We’ll be very careful around the lake.” Natasha assured him, giving the area of double rake. “How’s that looking?”

Clint squinted down at it. “Good!”

Tony was sitting away from everyone else, sullen and petulant. Phil was aching to address it, to tell him it was okay that he was Little. He could see how Clint had been accepted, why was it so hard for him to trust them. Trust Phil, if no one else. Steve was still rooting through the shed looking for paddles, intent on taking a kayak out. 

“Here Daddy.” Phil accepted the flat shovel but no instructions were given. 

He turned back to the open area Natasha had raked and looked at his ‘lake’. “We gotta fill the seashells.”

Natasha accepted the handful of molds and got down to packing sand into them. While they built the sandcastle Phil’s attention wandered to Tony. He knew he wouldn’t swim; some scars never healed. It felt wrong to leave him out. 

“Tony, I think we would benefit with an extra set of hands.” He wasn’t trying to push him into that headspace...it more of a kind nudging. “You do have a knack for design.”

Tony looked thoughtful and then nodded, looking determined. “I suppose you all would suffer without me.”

Phil couldn’t place his age but had suspected it rode high agewise. Maybe preteen or a young teenager. They were uncommon but they existed and just because they were older didn’t mean they didn’t need a Caregiver. Tony quickly took over in a very Tony fashion and surprisingly everyone was okay with it. Phil felt a tug of concern that Clint would get upset but he seemed so happy to play with Tony he clearly didn’t mind. 

Before long a very impressive sandcastle stood, details courtesy of Bruce who was well versed in Medieval design. Tony stood back admiring their work and Clint was beaming. “We should move the cows here!”

“You and those cows,” Tony sighed, rolling his eyes. “Those are baby toys and this is a masterpiece.”

Uh-oh. Phil turned quickly fully expecting Natasha to jump to the defensive but instead she said, “That’s not very nice.”

Phil didn’t even bother to be surprised. Natasha was more observant that most, clearly she had noticed the mannerisms. 

“But they are,” Tony protested. “They’re dumb and he always wants to play with them.”

“Not dumb.” Clint’s voice shook. 

“They don’t even look like real cows! Their proportions are way off.”

“Tony,” Phil cut in before things escalated. “it’s not very nice to talk down to your friends.”

“I’m just saying.”

“It’s still not nice.”

Tony exhaled heatedly. “Fine. Whatever. Go get the stupid cows then.”

Bruce volunteered and Natasha approached Phil. “I just won twenty bucks.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Bruce and I bet on how long it would take for Tony to regress. He bet three days.”

“I didn’t know until a few months ago.” Phil felt guilty admitting it. “We’re supposed to know before everyone else.”

“He hides it well.”

“That’s not an excuse.”

Tony was still grumpy, watching Clint pack wet sand from the ‘lake’ into seashell molds, placing them around the moat. Moody teenager seemed to make the most sense, Phil thought. Steve was gone, kayaking away some of his copious energy. Phil would have to tell him; one team member being left in the dark was a disaster in the making. 

Bruce came back with the entire farm set which actually worked in their favor because Clint and Tony worked together to create a sand farm around the farmhouse. After Clint grew tired of playing the sand, he, with the assistance of Tony and Phil, packed it all back into the pail and set it aside in case he wanted to go back to it later.

“Daddy swim?”

“Of course.” Phil couldn’t remember the last time he wore a pair of swimming trunks. Usually Steve swam with Clint and Phil tackled some of his workload. During training sessions he was always in a wetsuit. 

Phil stepped out of the pants he was wearing over them and took off his shirt. Natasha wolf whistled and Phil rolled his eyes. 

“Let’s get something more sunscreen on you.” 

Clint whined in opposition but got caught up in the excitement of being able to rub it in. Phil, worried about sunburns due to the high heat of this week, had brought Clint’s swim shirt. Purple and black with a cartoon shark on it. Clint always said he liked it, even if sharks were a little scary. Phil quickly blew up the arm floaties and they were off. 

The water was cool but not cold, so it was easy to get in. Clint held tight to Phil’s hand. Before them the lake stretched and the only sound was the water lapping the shore, the calls of loons and insects chittering in the undergrowth. It was peaceful. 

“Are you having fun, little bird?”

“Tony played with me.” Clint bobbed his head and then turned around. “Tony swim!”

Tony shook his head immediately, drawing his knees up to his chest. What Tony had been through had sickened Phil to his core when he thought he was Neutral. But now… There were no words for the contempt he felt towards Stane and Three Rings. He wished they weren’t dead so he could impose a fitting punishment for what they did. But, he couldn’t. So instead he said, “Tony doesn’t want to play in the water.”

“But Tony swim!” 

Of course Clint wanted to play with another Little, especially one he was comfortable with. Leo and him didn’t mesh well but it seemed Tony treated him like a kid brother and Clint responded to that. Maybe he reminded him of Barney, before his endeavors in criminal activity. Maybe it was just Tony. 

“He doesn’t want to. We have to respect our friend’s choices.”

Clint sighed heavily. “Gotta ‘spect friend’s choices,” he echoed glumly. “Daddy swim?”

“I would love to.”

[OoOoOoO]

Clint fell asleep eating lunch, using his Goldfish as a pillow. Phil manages to coax Tony into eating not one but two fried green tomato sandwiches and half a handful of Goldfish. Steve had yet to come back to shore but Phil had a feeling his hunger would have him heading inland shortly.

Phil nestled Clint into bed who cracked open his eyes and asked for Chirp. Phil began a long winded search before Clint said, “Chirp kept watch for Steve last night.”

Phil didn’t make it a habit to invade others' space but he knew that Steve would be alright with this particular time. He found Chirp sitting on the dresser beside a photographer of the Howling Commandos. Phil lingered a moment, staring at this incredible piece of history — of Steve’s life — and then left. 

Clint had fallen back to sleep but Phil still tucked Chirp around him. 

When Steve returned they’d have to have the conversation about Tony but until then he decided to figure out the best way to word it. The last thing he wanted was for Steve to feel like they left him in the dark. 

[OoOoOoO]

When Steve returned he went right to the kitchen. Phil had been sorting through the stack of DVDs stocked by Shield and was reorganizing them alphabetically to keep busy. Tony sat with him, passing the requested movies. He seemed very happy to help Phil and he suspected he liked the one-on-one attention he’d never received from a father figure. But Phil did his best not to overthink it, he let it unfold naturally. 

“Why don’t you finish up?”

Tony nodded, shuffling on his knees to the shelf to finish the task at hand. Phil brushed nonexistent dirt from his pants as he walked out of the roomy living room into the hallway and then into the open dining room/kitchen. Steve had a half eaten sandwich in one hand and a stack on a plate in the other.

He hastily set it down to greet Phil. 

“How was it?”

“Great. It’s beautiful out there.”

Phil nodded in agreement. Anxiety weighed on him a bit. He didn’t know how to properly address it but he knew it was a necessary conversation. “Can we sit?”

Steve looked a bit concerned as he did so. “Do we need to assemble?”

“No,” Phil lowered himself into his chair and took a deep breath. “Tony is a Little.”

Steve stared, then he laughed, and then he looked shocked. “You’re serious.”

“I am.”

“But… I would have known — I should have known!” 

Phil hushed him and Steve’s blue eyes went wide. “Is he Little right now?”

Phil nodded and Steve made a move to stand. “He’s not as young as Clint is. I think he’s more toward late preteen. I think that’s why we never noticed. We just thought he had moments of immaturity.”

“Does he have a Caretaker?”

“No. I tried to talk to Pepper about it but she said she signed a NDA and that the proctor she spoke with said that while a Caretaker was encouraged, it wasn’t necessary at his age range.”

“I… Could I go talk to him?”

“I think that’s a very good idea. I got him to eat lunch with us and he’s currently rearranged DVDs.”

Steve nodded slowly. “I take it, I'm the last to know?”

Phil offered an apologetic smile. “I wasn’t aware the others knew and Clint made me promise to wait until Tony was ready. But at this point, that’s a waste of time for everyone.”

Steve didn’t look miffed by it in the least. Phil could see the hope in his eyes, the wistful thought that maybe this could be his chance to have a Little of his own. That he’d finally have someone to care for. Phil was in full support of that. 

They both needed someone, why need each other? 

[OoOoOoO]

Clint was cranky when Phil woke him up.

He fought getting his diaper changed, he fought getting dressed after getting his diaper changed and he fought having to stand up afterwards. 

“Panda jammies.”

Phil sighed quietly. “I didn’t bring the panda jammies. I brought your dino towel you can wear?”

Clint stomped his feet and collapsed on the floor sobbing. Phil sat down beside him and rubbed his back. When the fit was over Clint crawled into Phil’s lap. “How about we got for a ride?”

Phil was feeling stir crazy himself; maybe Clint was feeling something similar? 

“Home?” Clint had his thumb in his mouth and Phil stretched over to the suitcase to fish out his purple Nuk. 

“This is home for a little while and then we’ll go home, okay?”

In a smooth motion Phil nudged the thumb from Clint’s mouth and slipped the pacifier in. Clint whined for a second and then settled into a rhythm. “What if we pick up a new plushie? A friend for Chirp.” Phil glanced at the ratty scrape of fabric and tried, “Maybe a nice new blanket.”

Clint shook his head hard. “Blanket.”

Well, he tried. “Okay, no new blanket.”

“Tasha an’ Steve an’ Tony an’ Bruce come?”

Phil didn’t want to interrupt Steve and Tony who, when he left them, were watching Hook on the couch, Tony settled directly beside him. Bruce and Natasha had gone out kayaking. 

“Just you and me, buddy. Some little bird, Daddy time.”

Clint bobbed his head. “Daddy time,” he agreed. 

Phil patted him on the back. “Let’s go get our shoes on.”

He had to stop Clint from running down the steps and he held his hand so he didn’t wander into the living room and shatter whatever fragile bond had formed between Steve and Tony. Phil tied up his shoes and buckled him into the back of Lola. His plan was to head towards the grocery store they had shopped at and check out the other stores in the shopping plaza. 

Like fate, nestled between a Super Cuts and a Jockey outlet was a store called Toys N Tots. Clint was staring out the window, pacifier bobbing away. Phil had no intention of taking it away although he had a feeling Big Clint wouldn’t be too happy about it. Once out of the car, Phil straightened up his clothes: jeans with a stretchy waistband and a tee with a cartoon t-rex. Behind the toys stacked in the display window Phil could see clothing racks as well. 

Hand in hand the two crossed the parking lot and entered the store. There was a young woman with a baby at the register and Phil released Clint’s hand. It was exhilarating to finally do this. Clint accepting toys was still new and the first ever toy store visit was noteworthy to say the least. 

Clint stood there for a minute, looking around, and then he ambled towards the baskets of stuffed animals. The clothing section was separated into the Little sections and child sections and both seemed to cover infancy to toddler. Phil trailed along behind Clint, giving him ample space to decide which he liked best.

He rubbed the fur of each against his cheek. A bear, a fox, a floppy dog. None seemed to pass the test. He rummaged deeper into the basket and came out with a hedgehog. Clint rubbed the long soft fur on its back against his cheek and turned around. 

“Have?” he asked around the pacifier.

Phil smiles and the validation he didn’t know he needed was satisfied. He could finally give Clint toys. “Absolutely. Do you want to look at some other toys?”

Clint cocked his head, mulling it over. “Have.” He hugged the hedgehog clearly not interested in anything more today. And that was fine. 

Phil grabbed some coloring supplies and a few books (one Avengers theme because he couldn’t help himself) and quickly looked through the clothes. He grabbed a set of dog footie pajamas completely with a tail and ears on the hood. Hopefully it would tide Clint over until they got back to his panda jammies. Clint was distracted by the new plush, whispering to it about Chirp and Blanket. 

The cashier did not recognize them but did offer Clint a Dum-Dum for being so good. Clint had looked wide eyed at it and when Phil nodded that it was okay, he took it with a mumbled thank you. 

All in all it had been a pretty successful day so far. Hopefully it remained that way.


	6. 'edgedogs and sharing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony finally opens up to the team and Clint learns to share.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the wait, i really hope you enjoy it.

When Phil returned everyone was congregated in the kitchen. Tony was missing however. His car was still there so Phil suspected he was hiding upstairs. 

“Tasha look!”

She turned and looked at the hedgehog Clint thrust forward. “Very nice,” she nodded and looked to Bruce for his opinion. 

“Does he have a name?” he asked.

Clint looked pensive and then shook his head. “Gotta get Chirp’s help.”

Phil was torn between going to talk to Steve and keeping an eye on Clint. That protective need never faded, whether it was the first or millionth he saw Clint Little. 

“I gotta show Steve.”

He was playing Solitaire, his favorite way to pass time, and looked up at the mention of his name. Phil noticed the worry lines around his eyes poorly masked with a smile for Clint. “What’d you get?”

“A… What’s it called Daddy?”

“Hedgehog.”

“‘edgedog.” 

“Hedgehog, buddy.”

“Hedgedog?” Clint looked confused now and Phil did his best not to laugh.

“Ah, doubling down on our mistakes I see.”

Tony strode into the kitchen like he owned the place and went immediately for the alcohol. It was a coping mechanism and that was common knowledge but it didn’t make it any easier to see. Clint grinned and ran over to him, flinging the stuffed toy in his face. Tony flinched a bit but mustered a half smile. 

“Very neat.”

He stepped around Clint to grab a bottle of vodka that Phil was certain was worth half of Lola because Tony never did things on a small budget. 

“Those are big boy drinks, Daddy! Tony is not allowed!” Clint crowed, blue eyes wide and panicked. 

Tony got that deer in the headlights expression and Phil was put in a very hard position. Tony didn’t know everyone knew he was Little and the idea of it spilling now risked Tony retreating completely.

“Daddy!” Clint ran toward him and tugged on his shirt. “You gotta stop Tony! It makes Little boys sick!”

“Tony makes his own choices, buddy.” Phil rubbed Clint’s back to calm him. “He’s a Big boy.”

“No! We played in the sand and with cars and-and we eated pizza and watched WALL-E!”

Tony had a pinched expression on his face, eyes flickering between each person in the kitchen. But not to Steve, interestingly enough. Clint sniffled, eyes wide and wet. It broke Phil’s heart because he knew how much it mattered, Tony mattered, to Clint. So Phil tried to reach out to Tony as an adult. 

“Do you mind? It’s upsetting for him.”

Tony exhaled heatedly but set the bottle back beside the cooking wine. “Fine.”

“Thank you.” Phil said and Clint perked back up.

“I got new coloring books! Wanna color with me?”

Tony squinted and then shook his head turning to the fridge. With a bottle of water in hand he started for the steps. “Is Tony mad at me?”

“No buddy. Sometimes people are busy, right?”

Steve was looking towards the steps and Phil knew exactly how he felt. He was pulled back to when Clint was actively battling being Little and he knew the pain, the yearning, the crippling empathy for his Little. 

“Daddy will you color with me?”

“I would love to.”

[oOoOoOoOo]

“You don’t get it.”

“What do you think I don’t understand?”

“How it is to...be a Little.” Tony forced the words through grit teeth unable to meet Steve’s eye. 

It was a few minutes shy of midnight and everyone else had retired upstairs. A movie played mutely, casting odd shadows up the wall adorned with tacky seashell wallpaper. In fact the whole place needed an upgrade — the TV was ancient and it was a crime it wasn’t a StarkScreen. He would have to file a complaint.

“They all will love you — they already love you.”

Tony snorted. He didn’t believe it but that it was easier to front like he did. “Everyone loves me, have you met me?”

“Yes,” Steve nodded his head. “Big you is wonderful and so is Little you.”

Tony frowned, leaning back on the overstuffed couch, rubbing a hand over his face. “Of course you would say that.”

“It’s true.”

Tony sighed. 

“What do I have to do to convince you?” Steve asked. “We had a good afternoon… Right?”

The thing was it had been a good afternoon. It had been one of the best afternoons he could recall and that was scary. He had been vulnerable, he was opening himself up to be tossed away or treated like a burden. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Steve — he was a good teammate — but anything beyond that put more than Tony’s feelings and reputations at risk, it could pose issues within the team. 

“People don’t take Littles seriously.”

“Tony — ”

“No. You have no idea what PR nightmare it was with Clint. The sheer amount of pressure to remove him was astronomical. They demanded competency exams, Steve. Everything he’d ever done was undermined by his classification. I can’t go through that.” Tony swallowed thickly and shook his head. “I won’t.”

Steve looked distressed, clearly hearing his concerns. While they kept the harshest of opinions away from Clint, it wouldn’t be the same for Tony. 

“Okay, say we keep it from the public. What about the team? Consider how you felt when you learned about Clint.”

Tony twitched. “This team has plenty of secrets. Natasha and Bruce for example.”

Steve sighed quietly. “It’s a poorly kept secret and they know. I think it’s a game at this point really, trying to see how long they can go before someone addresses it.”

“I wish Classifications didn’t exist.” Tony sighed. “I’m not a baby you know. Not like Clint.”

“Hey,” Steve said firmly.

“What! I’m right. I don’t tote around stuffies or wear diapers. My age range is so high the proctor told Pepper that I’m almost completely self sufficient. That means I was nearly Neutral.”

“Almost is an important word.”

Tony began to suspect he was arguing with a brick wall. “Steve, Captain Rogers, my dear friend — I am in no way a danger to myself or others when Little. Your services, and Agent Agent’s are not needed,”

Steve looked...wounded and Tony tried to backpedal. “What I mean is — ”

“If you want a different Big that’s fine. But you need someone. Someone real.”

Tony wasn’t sure how he knew he was about to interject about Jarvis but now he was stuck in a strange place. 

“We have a line of Little and children products in the making. Hawkeye is a sensation in the Little community. You think Agent Agent and Clint will go easier on me if I tell the team I’m Little and then spill about it?”

“I think you’ll want to dunk and cover when you tell them. I suggest you do it before commercials roll and Clint sees it between Clifford and Bubble Guppies.”

Tony’s nose crinkled. “I won’t tolerate baby talk. Clint might like it but I don’t. I’m not stupid either.”

“Anthony Stark!” 

“I’m not saying that Clint is stupid I just mean… It’s hard having an IQ this high. I’m...different. I’m not a normal Little and it’s not fair.”

“There is no normal Little. Everyone is unique and everyone is special just like you.”

Tony’s face colored in embarrassment. “Whatever,” he said although it felt nice to be complimented. To be told he was special by a Caretaker was new and he felt like maybe, he could get used to it. 

[oOoOoOoOo]

“I’m a Little. But like,” Tony gestured to Clint who, while Big today, had his cheeks stuffed with strawberry pancakes. “My age range is incredibly high so really, I’m not Little but technically, well, you know. I demand you not treat me different or speak to me like I am child. I will kick you and I will make sure it hurts.” Tony paused to suck in a breath. “Also Stark Industries is rolling out Hawkeye merchandise catered towards the Little community so hurray, Classification Equality!” 

The fact Natasha didn’t look the slightest bit surprised and neither did Bruce was a bit upsetting but the bug eyed expression on Clint’s face made him think that maybe he should have held off longer. 

“Clint, you’re going to choke. Chew your food.”

That slowed down the desperate swallowing but Phil leveled Tony an unimpressed look. “What gave you the impression that Clint would be okay with that?”

“Well, legally, we own the rights to his person — or, character — so I didn’t really need permission…” Phil looked, somehow, more disappointed. “It was inevitable. Littles needs a hero too, after all. Plus, Clint, think of the royalties! Imagine all the pizza you’ll be able to order. You could probably buy a whole pizza chain!”

Clint’s interest seemed piqued at that but Phil was a hard sell. “The polite and honest thing to do is to address it with the person.”

“Fine, fine. I extend my most sincere apology.”

“Tony.” It was Steve this time and for some reason it made him nervous.

“Look, I’m sorry okay. It was pitched in a meeting and I thought that Clint would actually like it.”

“Are they, like, on weapons and stuff?” Clint asked around his mouthful of pancakes.

“Interestingly enough Nerf did request copyright permission for a line,” Tony began but one look from Phil had him hastily saying, “Absolutely not.”

“No toy weapons Clint. You know that.”

“Y’know I don’t really see the issue. I mean, I work with weapons on the daily. My bow is out in your car!”

“Because I don’t want you to hurt yourself when you’re Little. It’s a nonnegotiable safety concern.”

Clint sighed heavily and stabbed his sausage link moodily. 

“Any other news you’ve been keeping from us?” Natasha said.

“No.”

“Well then I’d say it’s been a very productive morning. What’s the agenda for today, Boss?”

Phil cleared his throat setting aside his cup of orange juice. Tony found it so strange that a man could be so professional on a vacation. 

“Well, there are some hiking trails around.”

The group agreed quickly, restlessness a common feeling. After Tony went upstairs Natasha came over to where Phil and Clint were sitting, Clint still mowing his way through his plate of food. 

“Who’s going to look after him?”

“I think Steve has a handle on it.” 

Phil had noticed him heading up shortly after Tony, most likely to ensure he was wearing sunblock and dressing appropriately. 

Natasha looked at the stairs and then nodded. And like that, all was well. At least, until Clint was getting ready.

“No, absolutely not.”

“It’s not up for debate. If you get a rash — ”

“I’d prefer a rash over having to bring diapers.”

Phil sighed quietly. “It’s not really a secret Clint. You don’t need to be embarrassed.”

Clint’s jaw was set and his eyes wet. Phil set down the backpack and approached him. “Come here little bird.”

“It’s not fair.”

“I know it’s not.”

“Tony doesn’t need them. What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing. You are perfect just as you are. You’re just smaller than he is.”

“I don’t want to be.” Clint exhaled heavily, a dry sob. “It isn’t fair.”

“Unfortunately life isn’t fair.” Phil manages to coax Clint to sit on the edge of the bed with him. He carded his fingers through his hair. “But you know what makes it better? Having people who love you. Just like me and Steve and Natasha and Bruce and Tony and so many other people.”

Clint sniffled a bit and Phil gave him a one armed hug, the best he could do in this position. “It’s not that long of a hike. You might not even need one,” Phil went on. “But just in case right?”

“I guess so.”

Phil pressed a kiss to the top of his head. 

[oOoOoOoOo]

Clint was Big when they started the hike but halfway through, as he started to get tired, he became Little. His legs were tired and he was bored and hot and they kept walking and walking and Clint tried to go off the trail Daddy kept pulling him back.

“Are we almost there?” Clint asked, tugging at the Phil’s shirt.

“About half way.”

Clint ran ahead to confirm that with Steve but then got distracted by a butterfly and started to wander off the path. Natasha was quick to grab his hand and tell him about the poison ivy. 

“I don’t like to be itchy,” Clint agreed, bobbing his head. 

The top was beautiful, overlooking a valley of trees. Phil held Clint’s hand tightly because there were no rails. He didn’t want Clint to go to look at the rock edge and, god forbid, fall. Tony stared out at it for a while with Steve at his side while Phil and Bruce got the food out they’d prepared. “Fruit ’bobs!”

Fruit kabobs were one of Clint’s favorite ways to eat fruit. It also fit in well in the tupperware found in the house so it was a happy coincidence. “That’s right.” 

Clint knelt down on the blanket and Phil frowned down at the thermos of coffee they’d brought as well as cans of soda. Phil tried it to make it a habit but once in a while never hurt. Clint was thrilled to be able to drink out of a can and even Tony was eating a sandwich. Things couldn’t be going any better. 

“Pineapple?”

Clint had taken a watermelon cube off the skewer and held it out to Tony who looked confused. He swallowed and said, “Watermelon.”

“Pineapple.”

“Coulson, you haven’t taught him fruit names?”

“Tony,” Steve scolded lightly. 

Clint was getting upset and thrust it out again. “Pineapple!”

“I think he’s trying to trade his watermelon for your pineapple.” Natasha said.

“I don’t like watermelon. Thanks for the offer though, kid.”

“Pineapple,” he insisted again. 

“Here,” Bruce took the cube and passed over the three pieces of pineapple he had. “I don’t like it anyway.”

Clint settled down again, his upsets soothed. Sometimes he could be a handful but he was never difficult for a long time unless there was a deeper issue. 

So for today there was just the view and pineapple and his team. And Phil was more than okay with that. 

[oOoOoOoO]

Clint went down easy for his nap and Phil went downstairs to take inventory for shopping the next morning. Steve was in the TV room with Tony again and Phil was glad to see Tony and Steve were in there together. 

Bruce and Natasha were playing cards at the dining table. “I think that’s the fastest you’ve ever put Clint down,” Natasha commented. 

“I think you’re right. Remind me to take him on a hike every day.” 

“Will do. Want us to deal you in?”

“Sure.” 

They played three rounds of Gin Rummy, Natasha winning once and Bruce winning twice. Phil had a feeling Natasha had let him win but it was a good time regardless. Sometimes Phil needed time around other adults, a refresher of sorts. 

“Want to go out kayaking with me? It’s beautiful.” Natasha asked after they’d picked up the cards.

Phil glanced towards the stairs and Bruce cut in, “I thought I’d show him what happens when you mix baking soda and vinegar together.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I think he’s funny. We’ll have a good time. Go ahead.” 

Phil was on the fence but a pointed nudge from Natasha tipped him over. “Okay,” he relented, making a mental note to grab a life vest for Clint when he was out shopping tomorrow morning. 

[oOoOoOoO]

Clint woke and wandered out of the room with his hedgehog in one hand and his new jammies in the other so Daddy could turn him into a doggy. He took the stairs one at a time, still a little sleepy. When he was safely down them he broke into a run. He checked the TV room first and found Steve sitting with Tony. But Tony was leaning against Steve and that wasn’t fair. 

“Steve is mine Tony!” 

Clint threw himself towards Steve who caught him. The Little curled up in the super soldier’s lap and directed a glare towards Tony who looked more startled than hurt. So Clint kicked at him a little. Clint didn’t want to share Daddy or Steve or any of his friends. They were his and Tony needed to find his own.

“No,” Steve said sharply, grabbing his legs. “That’s not very nice, Clint.” 

“You’re mine,” Clint yelped.

Tony pushed himself to the opposite side of the couch. Clint was triumphant. He threw his arms around Steve and held up his hedgehog. “Did you see my ‘edgedog?”

Steve didn’t smile back at him. He looked very disappointed and that made Clint frown.

“You hurt Tony’s feelings Clint. You should apologize?”

Clint was confused. “You’re my Steve.”

“I can be your Steve and Tony’s Steve too. Sharing is important.”

Clint whimpered. “No, just my Steve.”

“I’m sorry Clint but that’s not fair to Tony.” 

“But…” Clint sniffled. “I’m your Clint?”

“Yes you are. And that is my Tony too. I have plenty of room in my heart for both of you.” 

“Tony’s a big boy.” Clint protested. 

“Even big boys need someone special.” 

Clint still didn’t think it was fair but he liked to play with Tony and he hadn’t meant to hurt his feelings. “‘M sorry Tony.”

“‘S okay,” Tony mumbled. 

He didn’t move closer to Steve so Clint crawled out of his lap. “You can have cuddles with Steve. He can be your Steve too. Did you see my ‘edgedog?”

Tony slowly slid closer to Steve, watching Clint like he thought he would kick him again. He shook his head no and Clint held the plushie out. “Can’t think of a name. Do you know?”

Tony shook his head and frowned. 

“Where’s Daddy?” Clint asked Steve. 

“He went out with Tasha. I think Bruce prepared something special for the two of you to do together in the kitchen.” 

Clint liked the sound of something special and hurried to the kitchen. He had a bowl on the counter with a bottle and box laid in front of them. Bruce was always nice to Clint even though they never spent much time together. But he had traded watermelon cubes for pineapple so Clint definitely liked him. 

“Oh good you’re awake.” Bruce said, grabbing the items and bringing them to the dining room table. “I thought I heard you in the TV room.” 

“I gotta share Steve with Tony,” Clint said somewhat glumly. “He says we’re doing something special!”

“We are,” Bruce lowered his voice like it was a secret. “It’s a chemical reaction.” 

Clint’s eyes widened. It sounded like a very big boy activity and he was thrilled he was being trusted with it. 

“I’ll put my jammies and ‘edgedog over here.” 

Clint set them a very safe distance from the table and scurried over. Clint knelt on the nearest chair so he could get the best view. Bruce was nice, Clint decided. He wasn’t loud and he was never mean. He knew the Hulk could be scary sometimes but Clint had a shirt with the Hulk on it and it was soft and warm like Bruce. 

“Alright, let’s add some of this first.” Bruce poured in some powder. 

“Are we making ooblek? Daddy says I’m not ‘llowed ‘cos I took it into my bed an’ he couldn’t get it out.” 

Bruce smiled. “No, not ooblek.”

Clint wished he could still play with ooblek but Daddy had been very disappointed he didn’t follow the rule of ooblek only at the table. It wasn’t a good idea to sneak it so he could play during nap time. 

Bruce poured sour smelling liquid into a glass measuring cup and held it out for Clint. “Okay, this is all you. Just pour it into the bowl.” 

Clint sucked in a breath at the responsibility now resting on his shoulder. His eyes narrowed slightly in concentration as he took the cup in hand. He tipped the liquid in slowly, carefully, and to his complete awe it started to fizz and grow. Clint’s jaw dropped as he finished pouring it. 

“Wow,” he whispered. “Can I touch it?”

“Yes, but we have to wash your hands before you touch your face. If it gets in your eyes, it’ll sting.” 

Clint poked and prodded it with his fingers, mouth in a silent ‘o’ as he admired what he had helped make. “Why does it do that?”

“Well, baking soda is a base --.”

“What’s a base?”

“It means it releases hydrogen ions when in liquids.” 

“What’s hyd-hyd’gen.” 

Bruce rubbed the back of his neck. “Well, hydrogen is the lightest element on the periodic table.” 

“What’s the period table?”

“It’s very complicated,” Bruce said. “All you need to know is that vinegar and baking soda make a very neat reaction, right?”

Clint bobbed his head. “I like it. Does Daddy know how to do it?”

“I believe so.” 

“Wow.” Clint poked at the fizz. 

He wasn’t big enough to understand why but that was okay, it was still very cool to see. They made it once more and then Bruce helped him watch his hands -- and showed him how surgeons wash their hands too -- and they went into the TV room. Tony was still resting his body against Steve and it made Clint a little sad but he reminded himself he had to share even if it wasn’t fun. No sooner had he gotten on the couch then he was sliding off, running to get his plushie and pajamas. He was wet and wanted to be a doggy now he was finished with his big boy experiment. 

He didn’t want to ask Bruce, if he knew he was wearing a diaper he wouldn’t do big boy experiments with him anymore. So he whispered in Steve’s ear. He nodded his head and said something softly to Tony. He stopped leaning and sat up on his own like the big boy he said he was, and Steve took him upstairs. When he was dry and a doggy he went back downstairs and got up onto the couch beside Bruce and watched some show about a man with elf ears.


	7. the green monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint battles his jealousy and an old friend makes a surprise appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay!

Natasha and Bruce were making cookies when Clint wandered in. Phil hadn’t been able to coax him out of the dog pajamas so he had come to accept the fact he would be wearing it for at least another day. It was his fault really, he should have known how attached he’d get — he loved dogs. Phil trailed along behind him, the smell of sugar already in the air and that was a sure way to attract Clint. 

Clint climbed onto the stools at the island and tried to grab some dough. Natasha caught his hand. “It could make you sick.” Bruce said when Clint whined. “Besides, they taste better cooked.” 

“There’s no chocolate chips,” Clint freed his hand and peered at the dough. “Issa sugar cookie?”

“No, it’s a jam filled cookie.” Bruce said. “They have them in India.” 

Clint looked over his shoulder. “Good?” he asked, looking worried. 

“Good,” Phil assured him. He helped him off the stool because he knew that while Clint had only the best of intentions, he had a habit of hurting more than helping. “Do you want to play in the sand?” 

“I want cookies.” 

“They’re not ready yet and you need to ask.” 

Clint looked horrified as he looked at Natasha. “I get cookies?” 

“Of course you do.” Natasha assured him. 

Clint calmed and looked at Phil. “With Tony?” 

“I think Tony is spending time with Steve right now.” 

“I want Steve.” 

Phil wasn’t sure how to best handle the jealousy Clint harbored. It was a problem with Leo on the Bus and now it was happening at home. Phil took his hand and led him to the table. Clint whimpered looking over his shoulder at the treat in making. 

“Clint, you know that you need to share the people in your life.” Phil reminded him.

Phil had only recently started to break this to Big Clint but he knew it was going to a process with Little Clint as well. There was a positive to it: Phil could possibly gauge and understand where the root of his jealousy laid. 

Immediately the Little crossed his arms and leaned against the back of the chair. “Steve loves me best.” 

“Clint Steve loves you a lot and you know that. That doesn’t mean he can’t love other people too.” 

“No,” he whined, going boneless and slid to the floor. “No, no, no, no.” 

He laid there, a puddle of Clint, and Phil resisted the urge to pick him and assure him that it was okay, that Steve will always love him best. “Clint, back up in your chair please.” 

Clint flailed his arms and Phil sat back with a small sigh. He wasn’t going to intervene in the fit, not when Clint was doing so out of jealousy. Clint cried until he realized that Phil wasn’t going to coddle him. He crawled under the table and sat there. “Are you ready to come out and listen to me.” 

“No.” 

“Clint.” 

“No.” 

“I think it’s about time for a nap.” 

“No!” Clint flopped backwards and started to cry again. 

Natasha looked over to Phil, licking jam off her thumb. “I am so jealous of you right now,” she said.

Phil replied with an unamused smile. She grinned and sidled up beside Bruce. Phil wasn’t certain if Clint was overtired or if he was truly worried about losing Steve’s affection. It made sense of course, Clint had grown up with a brother who didn’t coddle him in any way. He had grown up hiding who he was while this Little side of him suffered neglect. So he was going to attach himself to whoever he could. Of course the Little side of him wasn’t thinking logically, he was just going by his fears. So maybe Phil was being too harsh. 

He sat down on the floor and Clint looked at him with teary narrowed eyes. “Don’t cry little bird, talk to me.” 

“No.” 

“No what?” 

“No talk.” 

Phil tried to sign but he was too Little for that at the moment. “Why don’t we color pictures.” He suggested. 

Clint wiped his nose on the pajamas and Phil flinched. It most definitely needed to find its way into the wash as soon as possible. “Color pictures?” 

“Yup. About what you’re feeling and why and then we’ll share them.” 

Clint seemed to think it over and nodded his head. It was a quick set up, two sheets of plain paper and the pack of crayons he’d picked up. Clint began to grab colors immediately and Phil selected his. He drew a stick figure to symbolize him, a smaller one for Clint. He drew around them and a big bright sun. Clint was scribbling away with purpose and Phil hoped the little activity would shed light on what Clint was feeling. When finished he threw down his crayons and bounced impatiently while Phil looked it over. 

Clint had drawn a house, a small cramped house where two tall sticks men stood with a small one between. A little stick figure stood outside the house with streaks of blue running down its face. Oh, Clint. 

“Is this you or is it Tony?” Phil asked, pointing to the little stick man inside the house.

Clint bit his lip. “Tony.” 

“I see.” Phil put it to the side and showed his drawing. 

It was also simplific stick men. He had drawn questions marks around the head of stick man symbolizing him. “This means I’m confused,” Phil said softly. “Because I know you’re having a hard time and I didn’t know why.” 

Clint shrunk away a bit and picked up the crayon, examining it. “Are you big or little right now, Clint?” 

“I don’t know.” 

“That’s okay. Do you want to put this aside for a bit?” 

Clint set down the crayon and nodded his head. “I’m going to take a shower.” 

“Okay.” 

Phil watched him go. He wanted to go along but he knew when Clint wanted to be left alone. “That went well.” 

Phil scrubbed his hand over his face and looked at Natasha who was popping a ball of dough into her mouth. “If you have insight, I’d appreciate it.” 

“Sure thing boss.” Natasha hopped off the counter. “It’s more than the green monster -- no offense.” 

“Ha ha,” Bruce said dryly. 

“I know it’s more than jealousy.” 

“He once told me that one of his foster mothers used to treat one child well and the rest poorly. The ‘good’ kid got treats, the bad ones got beat, sorta thing.” 

Phil blinked. “He never told me that.” 

“It was the same with Trick Shot. He was either in his good graces or he wasn’t.” That Phil knew. “There’s no inbetween. He can cope with that as an adult, rationalize it -- at least he used to.” 

“I wish he’d told me that.” 

“Maybe he knew you’d track down anyone who’d wronged him.” 

“And who says I won’t?” 

Natasha shrugged, taking a seat. She crossed her legs and took the liberty of looking at Clint’s drawing. “Not much of an artist is he?” Phil glared and she laughed. “I’m kidding. Does it bother you?” 

“That’s he’s upset? Of course.” 

“No, that he has Steve in here too.” 

Oh. Phil hadn’t given that much thought. It did slight him a bit now he recognized it. “I won’t say it doesn’t bother me a little bit now you’ve so kindly brought it to my attention. Steve is good for him. He’s… He’s necessary.” 

“Necessary because you need someone to watch Clint?” 

“Yes.” 

“Yes,” she echoed his tone. “I don’t know if you can help Clint get over his issues until your address your own.” 

“I’ll have you know -- ”

“I’ll have you know that I know what I’m talking about. So save the speech, okay? You have a problem with Clint’s attachment to Steve. I never took you as someone who’d feel so easily threatened.” 

“I don’t remember asking to be psycho-analyzed.” 

“No it was my gift to you. Please tell me you noticed why you were pushing Tony so hard towards Steve.” 

“I was not,” Phil said hotly. 

“Sure,” she dragged out the word with an eye roll. 

Phil exited the conversation by standing. “Thanks for your input, Natasha. I’ll be sure to consider it.” 

She grinned, all teeth and not at all warm. “You’re very welcome.” 

In their room the dogsuit was in a pile and Phil picked up and put it with the wash. He took it to the washer and started a load. When he returned Clint was toweling off. His eyes looked a little red, as did his skin. “Clint,” he began. 

“It wasn’t that hot, I promise.” 

His milky skin was molted red from the hot water and Phil couldn’t help but fuss, taking the towel and finishing drying him off and then into a diaper. Clint still flushed a bit. His big side would always be embarrassed, Phil suspected. But he didn’t feel the need to look away from Phil. “Are you ready to talk?” 

“About me being an asshole? There’s nothing more to it, Phil. I was just being a jerk. I’ll apologize.” 

“It’s more than that.” 

“No it’s not,” Clint snapped. “I don’t know how to share is all. It’s not a big deal.” 

“Clint,” 

“Phil. I’m telling you what’s wrong. Just leave it, okay?” 

Phil sighed quietly. He knew he couldn’t force it out of him. They would just butt heads over and over until Clint got angry and that was no use to either of them. “How about we go get ice cream.” 

“Isn’t Nat making cookies?” Clint squinted a bit. “Right? I’m not making that up right?” 

“No she is. I just thought getting out of the house would do us both some good.” 

Clint looked at him with wary blue eyes. “You promise you won’t bring up the Tony thing?” 

“I swear.” 

“Okay then. But I want two scoops.” 

“I think we can manage that.”

Outings with big Clint were different than little Clint. He stuck close, he was on guard for any possible threat the way any agent was. The same way Natasha and Steve were. It took years of perfecting to be on guard without any indicators. Clint had mastered the easy striked and casual shoulders. He didn’t whip his head around, but his eyes were constantly moving, looking an anomaly among the crowd. He would glance back when passing window displays to ensure they weren’t being followed. Phil didn’t address it. When they found the parlor he let Clint choose the booth in the back where he had eyes on all exits. Only then did he calm and eat his peanut butter cup cone. They didn’t speak immediately, both enjoying their frozen treats. 

“I really am kind of an asshole to Tony.” 

“I don’t think so.” 

“Don’t humor me here, Coulson.” Clint said. “I’m a dick.” 

Phil hesitated a moment and then said, “Your behaviour could use some adjustments.” 

“I know. This vacation was supposed to be relaxing.” Clint said with a self deprecating laugh. “Leave it to me to fuck that one up.” 

“You didn’t ruin anything,” Phil said, stressing the ruin. He didn’t miss Clint’s eyeroll. “It’s a good time to get together and make sure we come out of this vacation even closer.” 

“If we get any closer it’ll get weird.” 

“You know what I mean.” 

“Also Bruce and Nat? Gross.” 

“They’re happy.” 

“Still gross. I don’t get the dating thing.” 

“Me neither but we don’t need to understand.” 

“I guess.” Clint took a broad lick of his ice cream and then said, “So Steve is really going to be his caretaker huh?” 

The bitterness was there and Clint heard with a small cringe and tried to rectify it with a, “Which is great!” 

Phil hummed and considered the best response. “I’m not too sure, little bird. Tony isn’t as young as you. He needs a lot less guidance. So I think Steve is more of a… A buffer of sorts. A checks and balance sort of deal.” 

Clint looked at him. Phil reworded, “Steve is there to make sure Tony doesn’t hurt himself -- or others.” 

“Tony wouldn’t hurt anyone.” 

“I know that. But… It’s too keep him out of trouble. His age range is high enough for him to get into some real trouble should he be left to his devices.” 

“Oh.” Clint took a thoughtful lick. “Do you think he’ll be mad at me when he’s big?” 

“No, I don’t think so. You’re little, Clint. Emotions come with it.” 

“I’m not a baby or something,” Clint said hotly and Phil suppressed his smile. 

“No, you’re not.” 

“I’m not.” 

“I’m not arguing.” 

“But I can hear you thinking I am.” 

“I wasn’t aware you could read minds. R&D will have fun working on you.” 

Clint grumbled but the conversation was stopped when a man and a girl in a pair of overalls came in. She hugged a stuffed cat to her chest and she had glittery barrettes in her brown hair. She pulled on the man’s hand saying, “Daddy, daddy look’it the ‘nilla! I’m gonna get all of it.” 

“Do you wish we could be like that?” Clint asked surprisingly Phil. 

Clint wasn’t like that in public. He kept to Phil’s side, subdued and quiet. Did Phil sometimes wish Clint was like that? Of course. He wanted Clint to feel safe and secure to act that way, but Phil knew it was a side effect of field training. “I love you just how you are.” 

Clint smiled. “Thanks Phil.” 

“You’re very welcome.” 

[OoOoOoO]

“I demand cookies,” Clint announced as they came through the door. 

Unfortunately Bruce and Natasha were missing and Steve and Tony were playing Trouble. “They went kayaking,” Tony said, without looking up from the bouncing dice in the dome. “Cookies are in the microwave.” 

“Not until after dinner Clint. You just had ice cream.” 

Clint groaned loudly and draped himself over a chair to oversee the gameplay. Tony glanced at him, a bit of a guarded look in his eyes. “Do you want to play instead of me?” 

“What? No. I’m just here to watch Steve get his butt handed to him.” 

“I’d like my butt to stay right where it is, thank you Clint.” Steve said with a mischievous tone. “Tony’s won two rounds already.” 

“I’m just going by luck,” Tony said. “Although it’s not hard to decipher the best way to win. See, if you move a piece out on every six and then your chances of reaching home are higher by default with a mass movement. Of course that doesn’t take into account landing on a square already occupied…” 

Steve didn’t seem crestfallen at all about his losing streak or Tony’s clear grasp on the game. If anything he looked delighted. “Boo,” Clint said. “You guys are boring.” 

“Let’s go watch a movie Clint.” 

“Okay.” 

The DVDs were ancient, all from the early two thousands. There were even a few VHS titles tucked in the very back. 

“These all suck.” 

“Clint.” 

“Sorry. But tell me I’m wrong.” 

“Back to the Future?” 

“Absolutely not. Time travel freaks me out.” Clint knelt down and started to pick through the titles himself. Phil shifted out of the way. “Hannibal.” 

“No. You’ll be up all night.” 

“No I won’t,” Clint objected. “Please?” 

Phil sighed heavily, as though he was already regretting his answer. “Fine.” 

For the first half of the movie Clint challenged Phil’s memory in trying to figure out who the cast members were and what movie he remembered them from. “Uhh,” Phil said, racking his mind. It was almost concerning how long it took him to locate their previous films. For Julianne Moore it was, “The End of an Affair.” 

“What about him?” Clint gestured to Hannibal tucked behind plexiglass while Julianne Moore, as Clarence Starling, sat opposite. “He looks familiar.” 

“Apparently they all look familiar. All this talking is distracting us from the film,” Phil said, careful to keep his annoyance out of his voice. 

Clint frowned then smiled sheepishly, “Last one?” 

“Okay,” Phil agreed. “Anthony Hopkins has been in a lot of films, Clint. The Mask of Zorro, Meet Joe Black -- ”

“The one with Brad Pitt?” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay, I’m satisfied.” 

“Glad to hear it.” 

Clint gravitated towards Phil slowly and he knew he should have expected as much. He put an arm around him and prepared for the nightmares that would undoubtedly follow tonight. When it ended Clint didn’t move an inch until the dramatic music stopped and the tape spit out of the VCR. “I told you it was going to be too much.” 

“It wasn’t,” Clint said defensively. “It wasn’t even scary. Can I have a cookie now?” 

“I suppose.” 

Steve and Tony were still at the table but they were coloring. No, not coloring, drawing. Steve was working on a sketch of the view and Tony was drawing blueprints...with Steve’s very nice pencils and that wasn’t fair.

“Hey! You never let me use those.” 

Steve frowned. “You used them just the other day.” 

“Nuh-uh,” Clint said before a memory presented itself. “...Oh.” 

“If you’d like to use them, you’re welcome to.” 

“No. Sorry Steve.” 

“It’s okay.” 

He looked sheepishly at Phil hoping he hadn’t lost his cookie privileges. Phil put a single cookie on a plate and served it with a glass cup half full of milk. Clint was glad for the grown up drinkware even if it wasn't completely full. Less chances of an embarrassing spill, especially in front of Tony. He heard Steve ask, “What are you working on?” 

“Just some design blueprints for thruster upgrades.” 

“Is it going well?” 

“Well, by shifting the velocity of the gas particles…” 

Clint tuned it out immediately. Sciency stuff bored him to tears. The cookie looked a bit like a tart, the entire top covered jam with a cookie crust. He inspected it from all angles and poked at the jam before licking off his finger. Raspberry. That was passable. His cookie was gone in a few bites and washed down with milk. Then he was hit by another wave of boredom. Tony was still rambling about science and Steve was pretending to understand. Phil had his head in the fridge probably trying to figure out dinner. Clint kicked his feet a bit to draw his attention and then sighed heavily to ensure he understood that he was bored. 

“I should have gotten a life vest while we were out. I can run out again if you’d like to kayak tonight?” 

“Yes!” 

“Okay, I’ll be back in a bit. Steve do you mind -- ”

“I’m not little.” 

“I know that but just in case.” 

“No, ‘just in case’. I can watch myself,” Clint said heatedly. 

“Okay Clint. I’m sorry.” 

Clint grunted in acceptance. Phil grabbed his keys and soon Lola was driving away. The house felt empty with Phil there with him. He hadn’t anticipated the anxiety. He was wet as well but he wasn’t too interested in going upstairs. It wasn’t that he was scared -- he wasn’t. He just didn’t feel like it. Clint felt a strange draw towards Steve. The pair were working quietly once more and should have been left alone but… But Clint didn’t like the idea of Steve being alone with Tony. He needed to be there too. So he sat and tapped his fingers against the table in beat while he waited for Phil to come back. 

“Do you mind?” Tony finally asked. “The tapping is driving me crazy.” 

“Then move.” 

“Clint, not okay.” Steve said sternly. “If you can’t be nice you can find something to do on your own.” 

Clint wasn’t little, but maybe he wasn’t as big as he was when Phil left. He knew it was because Phil had left and that bothered him. He wasn’t supposed to fall apart just because he was gone. He got up with an angry huff and stormed into the living room. The vast room made Clint feel even more alone and he felt a bit smaller. He was alone and Steve liked Tony more and his daddy was gone and… And Hannibal could come at any time. He sat down against the wall so he could see both doorways and hugged his knees, muffling his sobs into his knees. And that was where he stayed. Even when his skin got itchy and hurt, he didn’t dare move. Hannibal could be prowling the house and Steve was too distracted being with stupid Tony to protect him. He was alone and no one could save him but daddy but daddy wasn’t there when he needed him. He’d promised he’d always be there but he wasn’t, wasn’t, wasn’t. 

Bruce found him, spotting him from the steps as he followed Natasha. He halted immediately, words were exchanged, too far away for Clint to hear, and soon Natasha’s black and red sneakers were standing in front of him. “Tough day?” 

Clint hiccuped over his sobs and refused to look at her. He didn’t want Tasha, he wanted daddy and he wasn’t home yet. “Mind I sit with you?” 

Clint didn’t refuse so she took it as an invitation. Her skin was slightly damp, clearly having swam at some point on their trip. Or she’d rolled her kayak. She liked to do it, she thought it was fun. But nothing was fun right now. Not playing in the sand, not cuddles, not playing with toys.

“It’s going to be really boring to sit here without anything to talk about. Do you know where daddy went?” 

“Get a vest,” he whimpered. 

“A vest? For the kayaks?” 

“Mmhm.” 

“Well it sounds like there’s some fun stuff coming up when he gets home.” 

Clint didn’t respond. And when she didn’t, she put on a very big sounding little voice and said, “Uncle Phil will be back soon, I promise. And I know everything.” 

Responding to the new little he said, “No you don’t.” 

“Do to! Come on. I don’t wanna play by myself, that's booooring.” 

Clint wiped his face on his sleeve. He looked at Natasha who was getting to her feet. She smiled excitedly, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the stairs calling, “Me and Clint are gonna go play!”

“What -- Natasha?” 

She paused with a heaved breath of annoyance. “I wanna go play!” Natasha said impatiently, stomping her feet. 

Bruce was watching quietly. Steve looked puzzled and more than that shocked. Tony was openly staring at her. “I… Okay. I’ll come up and check on you in a bit.” 

Natasha sighed headedly. “I’m a big girl you know, Steve. I can take care of Clint all by myself.” 

“I’ll still check in.” Steve looked absolutely dumbfounded by the turn of events but he didn’t stop the pair from rushing up the steps. 

Natasha was bossy, dictating which ways to put together the tracks for the train and which animals got to ride in the railcar. Clint didn’t mind, he was happy to have her to play with. It was a rarity that he saw this side of Natasha.This was her ability to adapt at it’s finest. Steve came to check on them and stood there for longer than necessary listening to Natasha’s outlandish tales of the animals coming from a far off village to see the Horse King who Clint was in charge of handling. Bruce joined them a bit before he left as well, leaving the two littles to play. 

When Phil arrived the game was abandoned as both little hugged the surprised, and worried, man. “Uncle Phil you came back! See? I told you Clint. I know everything.” 

“Not everything,” Clint argue.

“Uh-huh I do!” 

“Nuh-uh.” 

“Uh-huh, uh-huh a thousand.” 

“Daddy Tasha doesn’t know everything right?” 

Phil smiled. “I think you both know a lot of things.” 

“Everything,” Natasha said boastfully. “I gotta go home now.” 

Clint didn’t mind. Now that Phil was here he didn’t have to be alone any more. “Thank you for playing with me,” Clint mumbled into Phil’s shirt. 

“It was fun. Bye!” 

“Bye.”


	8. crying and kayaking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint tries to address his issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, things are starting to get complicated timeline wise because the events in 'i think that we are gonna be friends' are happening after this fic which I'm reaching the end of. I thought about adding it as part of the series but I'm not sure how people would feel about that seeing as there is a focus of Brock Rumlow and Jack Rollins in it which not everyone likes. So I guess my question is, do you think I should or should I just compile a scene that would tie it up. 
> 
> Also thank you for all the kudos and comments and I hope you enjoy this chapter.

“Oh Clint.” 

“It’s not that bad,” Clint muttered as Phil dabbed the rash cream on. “I’m fine Phil.” 

“Don’t tell you’re fine when I can clearly see you’re not.” Phil sounded frustrated and Clint knew it was more than just a particularly bad rash. “I… Clint what happened?” 

Clint’s jaw tightened. It was easier to be angry than admit he didn’t know. That he was powerless and blinded by jealousy of Tony’s budding relationship with Steve. Cutting in on Clint’s sole Steve time. Now he wouldn’t be there for every whim. He would be there for Tony first. Clint came last. Tears welded in his eyes which infuriated him further because he wasn’t little. He was supposed to be control, to be a fucking adult. So why couldn’t he be? Why was this happening to him? Why couldn’t he be in control? 

“Clint,” Phil said softly. He washed his hands free of the cream before he carefully used his thumbs to wipe away his tears. “Please talk to me.” 

“I don’t know,” he choked out. “I don’t know why I can’t just handle it as an adult. I don’t know Phil.” 

“We’ll figure it out then.” Phil said softly. “Okay? We’ll work it out.” 

Clint rested his head against Phil’s shoulder and cried. It was safe to fall apart here with Phil. He’d protect him when his guards were down. So who would protect him when Phil was gone? Steve would be too busy with Tony. He’d forget all about Clint like he did today. He had been wet and no one checked. He had been sad and Steve hadn’t hugged him. 

“Steve didn’t care,” Clint hiccuped. “He already doesn’t love me.” 

“Steve hadn’t realized you had regress, bug. He wasn’t ignoring you.” 

“He didn’t notice ‘cos of Tony,” he whimpered. “Steve loves him more.” 

“I think this is a good talk to have with Steve.” 

“No,” Clint begged, pulling back. He wiped his eyes roughly and scolded himself for letting himself crumble like that. “I don’t want to bother Steve more than I already have.” 

“You don’t bother him, Clint and you know that.” 

“I… It’s good he has Tony. He needed to have a little of his own. I just… I didn’t think it would happen so far, is all.” Clint sucked in a wet breath. “It’s not Tony. I… Fuck, I feel like an absolute asshole. I know how hard it is to be...exposed like that. It's awful -- and that’s without someone shitting on you.” 

“I think Tony’s more worried about you.” 

“Trust me when I say if he says he’s okay. He isn’t.” Clint heaved a breath realizing he was still naked from the waist down. He grabbed for a diaper and Phil caught his wrist. “What?” 

“You need to let that rash air.” 

Alarmed Clint said, “But I… I don’t know if I can…” 

“We’ll do potty breaks.” Phil said. “We can stay in here if you’d like.” 

“And do what?” 

“I’m sure we could find something to amuse ourselves with. I could go down and grab a board game.” 

Clint sighed. “I guesso.” 

They played a few rounds of checkers until dinner time approached. “Are you feeling up for going downstairs?”

“Can I… Can I wear a diaper again?” Never had Clint thought he’d say those words but here he was. 

“I suppose. But there’s no waiting to get changed Clint. I know that rash must hurt.” 

“‘s not that bad,” Clint insisted. Clint had sustained broken limbs and more than once a gunshot wound. A little diaper rash wasn’t going to phase big Clint. 

He didn’t really want to go downstairs in general. He wasn’t ready to face any of them. Natasha had regressed for him, something she hadn’t done in a very, very long time. And that meant she must have told Bruce how he was stupid and jealous so now Bruce was probably mad at him for taking away Natasha’s time with him and being mean to Tony. And Tony probably hated him now. And Steve… Steve was probably happy he had Tony now. He was good. He didn’t get so little he threw fits and said rude things. But hiding from the reality was going to do nothing but get him wrapped up in all the different ways the team would have turned against him. It was better just to take full brunt of it and figure out where he stood before he proceeded. 

Clint trailed behind Phil down the steps and he glanced over the bannister to where he saw Natasha curled up to Bruce’s side. It was amazing how she made herself so small. Suddenly she turned, as if she had felt his eyes on her. He flushed and looked forward. Maybe he wasn’t ready to face everyone yet. But it was too late to retreat, not without Phil making a big deal about it. Steve was playing cards but Tony was nowhere to be seen. He wasn’t sure he wanted to ask about him yet. Steve was probably still upset. 

“Hey Clint.” Steve put down his card, blue eyes clouding with worry. “Are you okay?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Clint asked with a smile, aiming for casual. “Are you winning?” 

Steve looked down at the cards. “I don’t think so. Hey, do you want go for a walk?” 

“Uh…” 

“I’ve got dinner stuff handled,” Phil said immediately. “Go ahead.” 

It was more of an order than a suggestion and Clint knew exactly what Phil was hoping for. Clint sighed heavily in acceptance that he would once more be forced to talk about feelings and about Tony and why he was acting like a complete and utter wreck. “Sure.” 

The beginning of the walk is good. Clint enjoyed the birds and the scenery and the fresh air. It was nice to do something physical as well. It was far more tolerable than hiking. “I’m sorry that I didn’t notice you were little, Clint. That was a horrible oversight on my part.” 

“It’s not a big deal,” he muttered. 

“No, it’s a very big deal to me Clint. You’re… You’re my Clint and I’m supposed to help take care of you.” 

‘You’re my Clint’. He should have attached so tightly onto that but he had. His heart surged to his throat and he stopped dead. “...I’m your Clint?” 

“Well of course. You’ve been my Clint for a long time now and that’s not going to change.” 

Steve seemed to get bigger as he got smaller. “I… You mean it?” 

“Have I ever lied to you?” 

“...No?” 

“Just because…” Steve stared over his shoulder. “I love you Clint and that will never change. Do you understand?” 

“You love me.” Clint echoed, his thumb pressing against his bottom lip. “Even though you got Tony?” “Even though I have Tony,” Steve agreed. “So maybe we can all do something together. Wouldn’t that be fun?” 

Clint thought about it. He did like to play with Tony -- he made lots of very cool toys come and usually he didn’t mind his farm set. He didn’t think it was boring like Leo did. “Tony’ll play with my farm set?” 

“We’ll have to ask him.” 

“Is Tony’s mad at me?” 

“No. He just doesn’t want you to feel left out.” 

“You can love him more.” Clint reminded him. “You gotta love me best.” 

“How about I love you both equally.” 

“Both of us?” 

“I have plenty of room in my heart for you both.” 

Clint mulled it over, somewhere in the limbo between big and little. It was a disorienting mindset to be in but Clint could feel a rough edge in his chest being smoothed down that assurance. “Room for the both of us?” 

“That’s right.” 

Clint threw his arms around Steve’s middle and hugged him for a long time. Steve rubbed his back soothingly. After the hug they carried on their walk, hand in hand and Clint hunted down pebbles to give daddy when they got back. And some for Tony and Natasha and Bruce too. And of course Steve. Soon his pockets were weighed down with rocks and they started their way back to the house. The smell of cooking peppers and a beef met them and Clint’s tummy growled. Tony was at the table talking to Bruce and Natasha was helping Phil. Tony stopped talking abruptly and, had Clint been big, it would have deterred him. Instead he bounded over and emptied his rocks in front of Tony. 

“I found these.” 

Tony looked at the rock pile and then back to Clint who bounced on his toes. “Uh, cool.” 

“You gotta pick one.” 

“I do?” 

“Yes, I found them for you.” 

He took a quartz and tugged it closer to him. Clint scooped up the pile and walked around the table to dump them in front of Bruce. Person by person rocks were selected and the rest were deposited outside because daddy said so. Clint kept himself amused with coloring at the end of the table and conversation resumed around them. He didn’t notice Steve quietly filling Phil in on their conversation or the way that Tony glanced his way ever so often. He was little and when he was little, big things didn’t bother him. 

[OoOoOoO]

Clint woke up with a nasty headache from bouncing between mindsets too much. It seemed that this place was going to be the death of him. 

“Is your head bothering you?” 

“Yeah.” Clint pulled himself upright. “I need to get a handle on being big, Phil. I can’t regress this easily.” 

“You’re in a safe space. It’s normal to feel little.” 

“I’ve never been little this much. I don’t like it.” 

“I think you’re overthinking, Clint.” 

“I hope so.” 

A few aspirins later he was feeling better and everyone got ready to visit a local artisan brewery. Clint wasn’t the biggest fan of beer but he thought an adult activity would do him some good. And it started off so well. Their tour guide’s name was Brooke and she explained the process of brewing and walked them step by step through the factory. Clint found it a bit boring and he didn’t like the smell in the air. Despite his boredom he tried to come off interested. He didn’t know how Tony was able to drink. Clint couldn’t even begin to tolerate bitter things. When he drank they were always very sweetened cocktails or, better yet, mocktails that could be passed as cocktails. 

They reached the tasting room and Clint politely refused. Immediately Phil was at his side, trying to see if he was little. “I’m fine.” 

“I just wanted to make sure.” 

Tony had no trouble drinking it and that rubbed him raw. Tony was so big when he was big. It made Clint feel like a baby. So he took the shot glass he’d set down and threw it back. It was horrible in every way but it made him feel big and that was important. He’d been little too much anyway. He needed to find time to have a real discussion with Tony. Man to man. Or, well, little to little. The taste of beer still clung to his tongue and he wished he’d brought a water bottle. But he wasn’t little so he wasn’t going to make a big deal about having an icky taste in his mouth -- no, not icky, gross. Because gross was a big word and he was big. He wasn’t wasn’t he? Could he not be and not know? 

“Clint?” 

“Huh?” 

“We’re leaving. Are you sure you’re okay?” 

“Yes Phil. I’m fine.” 

The strange feeling followed him home. Clint wondered how much of it was in his head and how much of it was something he should be worried about. He hoped not. He couldn’t handle anything extra right now. He needed a full day big, Clint decided. He needed to settle into a headset and stay there. No more of the yo-yoing, no more of the emotional overload. He knew his body. 

Phil and Clint finally made it out on the water and it was therapeutic. They paddled to the center of the lake and Clint stopped to rest. They let themselves drift, enjoying the sounds of nature before Phil said, “Seemed like you had a tough morning.” 

“I was in a weird mood,” Clint said. “But I’m better now. I think I just need to stay big for a while.” 

“You’ve had an emotional trip so far,” Phil agreed. “But hopefully in the long run it’s worth it, hm?” 

Clint laughed bitterly. “It sure as hell better be.”


	9. back to normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> things are finally back to normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> not beta'd all mistakes are my own.

When they got back to shore the house smelled of curry and Tony was at the table working on blueprints again. He looked up as they walked in and then back down. Phil looked at him and Clint knew what he had to do. “Can I talk to you in the other room?” 

Tony sighed heavily setting aside his pen. “If you must.” 

They went into the living room well aware everyone in the kitchen was listening in. “Don’t apologize.” Tony said immediately. 

“I’ve been an ass, Tony.” 

“As someone who’s an ass everyday, it’s perfectly fine.” 

“No it isn’t. You’re supposed to be safe when you’re little and I… I’ve taken that away the entire trip. It’s not fair to you.” 

Tony looked a bit uncomfortable now, crossing his arms in front of his chest, blocking his arc reactor. He was feeling vulnerable and Clint knew this was when he really needed to drive his apology in. “You’re one of my best friends. I care about you and I don’t ever want to make you feel like you’re unwelcomed. Steve doesn’t belong to me and I can’t control who he’s around -- and I don’t want to. I want us to be friends both big and little -- if-if you want of course. You don’t have to.” 

“I forgive you.” Tony said interrupting Clint trying to backpedal on his very forward confession. “We can be friends little, Barton. Why do you think I’ve played with you? You’re like… You’re like my little brother, I guess. I don’t know, I was an only child but it feels like the best way to describe it.” 

Clint fiddled with his fingers as the relief doused him. He hadn’t damaged things beyond repair, Tony didn’t hate him now. “Can I hug you?” 

It was a little request but Tony didn’t seem to mind. He uncrossed his arms and they hugged. The hug was mending, soothing the frayed edges of trust with assurance that moving forward they would be on the same team rather than butting heads. If only it hadn’t taken him so long to figure it, Clint thought bitterly. He wasn’t bitter long, couldn’t be, because Clint was suddenly little. 

“We can go play in the sand.” he said, pulling free. 

“It’s almost dinner.” 

“Just for a little while?” 

Tony ran the request by Phil who agreed that it was too close to dinner. Clint pouted until Natasha asked for his help setting the table. Clint also got to put down name tags, mostly to keep him entertained. He claimed a spot between Phil and Steve but sat Tony on the opposite side of Steve. Bruce awarded the head of the table “‘cos he made the food, daddy”. And to his left Natasha was sat, all alone on the other side of the table. That upset Clint so there was a full rearrangement. Steve was now the head of the table, Clint on his left, Tony of the left. Phil was on the other side of Clint. To his right was Natasha. Bruce was sitting next to Tony so Tony wasn’t lonely. It was an overcomplication but no one minded. 

Clint ate about half his plate and then started to beg to go to the beach. “It’s going to be buggy, little bird. I don’t want you to get bitten up.” 

Clint pouted but was coaxed into watching Bambi instead. After the dishes were done the movie started and they were joined by Steve and Tony. Tony complained under his breath for the first fifteen minutes but then he watched it without complaint. Clint dozed to the end and when the credits rolled Phil led him upstairs. He got him changed into his pajamas and into bed. He curled up around Chirp, the unnamed hedgehog and Blanket. He was out quickly after that. 

[OoOoOoO]

Leaving the Lakehouse was surprisingly uneventful. Phil was eager to return to work but had to consider the trip a success -- Steve had gotten a Little and Tony had finally come to terms with who he was...for the most part. It would be a long journey, as it was for Phil and Clint in the beginning, but that time was the most precious and meaningful. It was the start of something new, of a relationship that withstood time. With that in thought his eyes drifted to Clint who had taken it upon himself to polish off the last of the milk by drinking from the carton, something he typically wasn’t supposed to do. Phil looked past it considering no one else would be using it. He took out the last of the trash when he done and then reported to Phil for further instructions. 

While Phil wouldn’t ever say it, it was a relief that Clint remained Big. Wrangling a bored Clint while trying to pack up and clean the place would have a been nothing short of disasterous. There was staff that would come and clean the house deeply in preparation for other agent’s vacations but Phil was a firm believer in leaving things tidied up. Steve left first, then Tony with Natasha and Bruce. Clint went to the car as Phil gave the house one last sweep and locked up. 

The radio was up loud when he got into the car but Clint turned it down with a grin. “Can we go to McDonalds?” 

“There isn’t one in the area.” 

“When we get back into the city, I mean.” 

“I’ll think about it.” 

Clint pouted but it was an adult pout so Phil ignored it. The ride was filled with casual conversation, Clint vocalizing how happy he was to get back to work. “It wasn’t too terrible was it?” 

“Meh,” Clint shrugged. “It was okay but it was boring.” 

Phil had to agree that having nothing to work on was wearing. When they got home Jarvis greeted them. Phil never thought he’d be happy to hear from an AI but he was. Somehow the Tower had become home. Unpacking was done slowly with loud complaints for Clint. He took frequent breaks to check his phone, returning missed texts from his friends back on the Bus. Phil couldn’t fault him for immediately going for technology, he was aching to get on his laptop and get an report on every single thing he had missed. He trusted Maria to fill him in but he couldn’t help but be antsy. 

With the first load of laundry in and Clint firmly fixed to the couch on his phone he went to his office. Thankfully nothing monumental had happened. A thwarted assassination attempt on a state senator was the biggest highlight and Maria had handled it perfectly. Hours were lost getting back in touch with everyone back at the base but come dinnertime Phil felt more confident about stepping back into his duties when he returned to work the next day. Clint wasn’t in the apartment but Jarvis said he’d gone down the range which made sense. It’d been two weeks without his bow, he would undoubtedly spend a good few hours getting back into practice. Phil hadn’t thought about having groceries delivered so he UberEats’d McDonalds for convenience as well as to appease Clint who had complained liberally when they drove past the packed drive thru. Phil had been, admittedly, eager to get home and get back in touch with Shield. 

Phil had Clint called up when the food came. Clint came bounding with a grin. Clearly Jarvis had told him what was for dinner. Their evening together was quiet, Clint needing a bit of help to wind down. He grumbled at being told he needed to get ready for tomorrow instead of spending another few hours at the range. He tread the line between Big and Little like an acrobat and that worried Phil a bit. He had hoped a week of free movement between the two would steady him out but the incomplete headspaces had continued. Phil tried to push down his worry and coaxed him into taking a bath. Clint washed himself but insisted Phil stay. “Just in case,” he said in the voice of a child trying to sound grown up. Phil had stuck around, which served to be a good thing as Clint needed some direction as to what he was doing, playing with the washcloth but refusing toys. 

They got into bed, both breaking the no phones in bed rule. Clint was playing Candy Crush rather than texting with Natasha as he usually was, yet another thing for Phil to worry about. There wasn’t one thing in particular that would have rose a red flag but all the little things heightened his worries. Come morning Clint was firmly Big and antsy to get work, a sentiment that Phil shared. Once there he was off to the gym to get a proper workout in and Phil went to his office ready to take the reins from Maria. 

[OoOoOoO]

Clint wasn’t surprised to find Natasha on the treadmill. He was shocked she had beaten him into the office -- Phil and him had been a rush to get here. Grabbing the machine next to her he started at a warm up pace. 

“Hey,” Natasha greeted.

“Hey. Happy to be back?” 

“Incredibly. I appreciate Fury’s concern but I’m not the kind fo person who enjoys being forcefully benched.” 

Clint agreed but he had a more pressing concern. “So you and Banner, huh?” 

Natasha grinned, all teeth which was a clear indication of it being a subject she had a firm stand on. “Problem?” 

“Nope. Just gross.” 

“Ah you children these days,” she said in faux disappointment. 

“I guess the two of you make sense. I never thought about it.” 

“I wouldn’t think you would.” 

“How’d he feel about seeing little Nat?” 

Natasha huffed a laugh. “A bit distrubed by how easy it was. He didn’t realize what I meant by being trained to transition quickly. Now he does.” 

“Uh, thanks for that by the way.” 

“Jealous you can be a little shit, Barton.”

“Little you can be kind of a bitch.” 

“She’s opinionated,” Natasha corrected. “Unswayable. A Little who can still stay in complete control.” 

Sometimes Clint forgot that her alter headspaces were created from deadly training. Little Natasha who was capable of slaughtering anyone in any headspace. It was as sad as it was scary. “She’s smart,” Clint had to agree. “But still, thanks.” 

“I’d do anything for you,” she said simply. “You’re an idiot but I still love you.” 

It was often that Natasha said she loved him. Clint knew she did, she loved him as much as Clint loved her, but hearing the words voiced rather than shown still made his stomach tighten in appreciation. “I love you too.” 

Clint notched up the speed gradually until he was running full speed. After they were done they went to the weights and spotted each other. When he properly sore and tired he retired to the locker room. Unfortunately he ran smack into Brock Rumlow who nodded his head as he passed by, hair still wet from showering. Not far behind him was Rollins. Clint’s eyes narrowed a bit as he reminded that there was yet another Little that could vie for Steve’s attention. He may have adjusted to the fact that Steve had Tony now but sharing him with Rumlow was out of the question. 

He tried to cram that down as he showered and grabbed fresh clothes from his locker. He went to the cafeteria and found Steve there so he joined with him a carton of orange juice and a chocolate muffin that Phil would have certainly discouraged him from eating. Steve didn’t make a fuss about it and they chatted easily. Even Steve seemed happy to be back at work. It felt like the first steps of settling into normalcy.


End file.
